Love And Race In 2025

There’s something to be said about the public’s obsession with the dating lives of Black women in the spotlight. The one thing indiscriminate about being a Black female celebrity is the discrimination you will face. As a woman of color watching all of this play out, it’s difficult not to let this narrative weigh me down. Constant talks of independence, realness, and desirability remind me that there will always be a standard of what Black women are “allowed” to be. This article aims to explore how these talking points began and what we know of the truth.

Olandria Carthen and the Reality TV Effect

Love Island has always magnified scrutiny, but for Black women contestants, that microscope becomes a searchlight.

Stereotypes about desirability, “attitude,” and sincerity loom over these women before we even know their character. Olandria is no exception. Though she’s become a fan favorite, her fairytale exit with boyfriend Nic Vansteenberghe sparked both celebration and suspicion. Viewers were quick to question the authenticity of their romance, fueled in part by the show’s heavy-handed editing, rule changes, and conveniently staged conversations that seemed designed to push the pair together after fans began loudly shipping them.

You’d think that kind of audience demand would translate into unconditional support, but for Olandria, the applause was short-lived. Comments from her time in the villa have been pulled apart, sharpened, and hurled back at her online.

While racism underpins much of the backlash, a small portion of the critique is reflective of her choice in connections within the villa. Olandria only explored connections with Taylor and Jaylen (two Black men with the “country boy” vibe she repeatedly said she wanted), leading many viewers, myself included, to assume she wasn’t open to interracial matches.

This has become the go-to argument for those doubting the sincerity of her now-high-profile interracial relationship with Nic. However, critiques like this say less about Olandria and more about the pressure on Black women to justify their romantic choices. In her interview with Tish Cyrus, she clarified that the aesthetic she was looking for was not racial but rooted in ideals of masculinity. Despite giving this statement, Olandria is still dragged for having a fake relationship, proving there may not be a right answer for these haters.

Lori Harvey and the Double Standard of Dating Freely

Lori Harvey, Steve Harvey’s most well-known nepo baby, can be credited for her various accomplishments, yet all of them are marred by her illustrious and high-profile dating history. In 2025, it’s safe to say there is far less judgment about dating than there used to be. However, Lori Harvey faces scrutiny for the men she chooses to associate with; the most common accusation is that she takes it “too far.”

Harvey has been linked romantically to footballer Memphis Depay, singer Trey Songz, actor Justin Combs and his father Sean “Diddy” Combs, rapper Future, actor Michael B. Jordan, and Damson Idris.

The list continues both in public and private, illustrating what is meant by “too far.” It simply means she dates a lot of men.

Whether the hate for her dating choices stems from jealousy or purity culture is up for debate, but what remains is that public perception of her is deteriorating—fast.

One YouTube commenter shares their expertise: “I'm not a prude, but that's a lot of men in and out of her life before you turn 30, even if the dating is platonic.”

Recently, blind items have surfaced alleging she is a yacht girl; the truth is unknown, but the quest remains… so what?

What is the issue with a young woman dating around? It never seems to be an issue when the subject is a man. Pete Davidson’s illustrious dating history is a topic of great entertainment and commendation from the public. Lori Harvey's scrutiny cannot be separated from the purity culture imposed on Black women—the expectation that all romantic relationships should be embarked on with the goal of marriage, and that the more men she dates, the more her value somehow “lessens.”

The ridiculousness of it all does not seem to bother Harvey, who still refuses to stay in relationships past the expiry date, regardless of the scrutiny she may receive—a bravery more young Black women should show.

Megan the Stallion and the angry mob.

Megan has found herself in a variety of media controversies ever since the 2021 incident with alleged partner Tory Lanez. Following the polarizing split between fans, Megan has not caught a break, and her dating life has not been spared.

She has been criticized for the vulgarity of her songs, often rapping about her sex life and body confidence. Many find this encouraging and refreshing, hearing rap decentered from men; however, some find it repetitive and gross. The two sides of the spectrum nevertheless agreed until the release of Megan’s latest single, My Man.

It seems the music-girly x athlete trope is alive and well, as she and Taylor Swift have both released media dedicated to their counterparts. Megan’s new relationship with basketballer Klay Thompson has been heavily discussed in recent weeks.

With Thompson facing scrutiny on and off the court, TikToker “Scarfacemark” criticized his chivalry in apologizing to Megan for being late, and many men followed, calling his behavior weak and “simp”-like. I didn’t know having manners could be so polarizing. Ja Morant seemed to randomly join in on the hate, compromising his sportsmanship and professionalism. His attacks on the court consisted of calling Klay a “bum.”

Many are speculating that it's an indirect reference to his treatment of Megan Thee Stallion. The Grammy nominee herself has not been freed from her angry mob. One Twitter user claimed she “tricked” women into their disregard for men, only to play a more subservient role in real life. This notion comes after videos of Megan cooking for her boyfriend's family were posted. It seems the issue is that Megan’s confidence made her haters think she is undeserving of love. Since she raps about not needing a man, she shouldn’t have one.

Unfortunately for them, it seems to be one win after another for Megan. She won court proceedings with blogger Milagro, who was on trial for slanderous comments about her during the Lanez debacle and for spreading sexually explicit AI content of her. The blogger is to pay $75k and is waiting for the judge's final verdict.

Megan is setting a precedent that “freedom of speech is not freedom to bully” and is asserting that this includes discussion of her partners. More court battles are yet to come, with her suing radio host DJ Akademics and streamer Adin Ross. Yet, with the Milagro win and a homely Thanksgiving with the Thompsons, the Houston rapper seems to have found her Prince Charming regardless of the hate and scrutiny she faced these past years.

Final Thoughts 

Ultimately, in looking at the scrutiny that follows these three Black women, we see that there is no right way to date in their position. The curse of being a young, gifted, and Black woman follows them even in their private lives, with public opinion clouding the good they do. This is reflected outside celebrity culture, yet it’s interesting to see how fame and status mean nothing as a Black woman.