How to Navigate a “Situationship” With Your Ex
Everything you need to know about blurring the lines with your former beau.
We’ve all done it – stalked our ex on Instagram post break-up, drunk-called them on a night out, or just wondered what “might have been” if things had worked out differently.
Now, this is all well and good, until you start to blur these lines with your ex - without even knowing it, you’ve probably found yourself in the dreaded domain of what we like to call a “situationship”. Acting as an in-between that’s not quite a relationship but inadvertently pushes the boundaries of a friendship – this is where the “situationship” comes into play.
Maybe your ex has recently reached out to you, or perhaps you’ve been wanting to get things back on track for a while, but it just hasn’t been the right time. Whichever situation you find yourself in, we’ve outlined our top tips for how to deal with a troubled, ambiguous love-life.
Accept Your Feelings
If you are constantly telling your friends that you’re “over him” but you proceed to stalk his every move on social media, or you are secretly waiting for him to “pop up” back into your life, then I hate to break it to you, but – you’re living in denial. If you’re still experiencing feelings for your ex, then you should do your best to honor those emotions.
Whether it means reaching out to them, so that you can have a final moment of closure or prioritizing your self-care so that you can properly start to move on, it’s important to address these feelings and not ignore them.
Situationships are not always a bad thing. While they can often be associated with a friends-with-benefits situation – there is also the chance that you may have genuine unfinished business with your ex, in which case you should explore that.
There will always be a conflict between what you think you “should” do and what you really feel. Try to go with the flow and don’t stress about having to put a “label” on something. Focus on the here and now, rather than pre-empting the negatives that could come from a situationship. After all, you never know what it might lead to!
Manage Your Expectations
It’s important to be realistic when dealing with a situationship with your ex. It is likely that your lives have changed since your break-up – maybe you have different living arrangements now, or you’ve embarked on different career-paths, or perhaps you’ve just changed as people.
Remember to accept the situation for what it is, to avoid getting your hopes up and start planning a future that might not be feasible right now.
It’s Okay To Not Have It All “Figured Out”
If you are approaching a cross-roads with your former S.O, then it is perfectly normal to feel confused. The situation is complicated and that’s okay.
If you choose to confide in your friends, then pick your confidants wisely as this could do more harm than good. If you’re already in a vulnerable state, you should prioritize advice that is non-judgmental and empathetic.
Whichever way the situationship turns out in the end – ensure that you stay true to yourself and remember that; if it’s meant to be, it will be.
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