Get That Green-Eyed Monster Out Of Your Relationship With Our Top Tips
Jealousy is a bitch, but here’s how you can control it
Do you think you’re the perfect partner? We know at times we thought we were, but news flash: that little green-eyed monster of jealousy exists in all of us. Some people are just better at controlling it. Ever been hanging out with your partner and they keep getting distracted by their phone? You’re dying to know who they’re messaging, that’s okay. But cheating accusations with no receipts just because he went somewhere he used to go with his ex? Girl, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!
The Jealousy Cure by Robert. L. Leahy is a great book to read to get an insight into the feeling of jealousy. He explains that jealousy is just a part of relationships and “if you deny it, you’re not going to be able to cope with it very well”. We’re here to help you address the jealousy within your relationship, so that little green-eyed monster will live happily and quietly within you and not cause outrage and heartbreak.
Communication and Support, Your New Two Best Friends
A relationship requires some sacrifice. You have another person to consider and at times, you can be responsible for how they feel. A key part of this is communication, it’s a two-way street. If you’re the “jealous one” then let them know how their actions made you feel. Use the method “when you… I feel” it stops it seeming confrontational. If you’re the defender, don’t get defensive! Avoid phrases like “I haven’t done anything”, try to understand their feelings and support them through comfort instead.
Accept it! But only in small doses
As a relationship progresses, you invest more into it: time, feelings and maybe even money. If the relationship was to end, you have more to lose. Jealousy is okay and normal because the relationship matters. Accepting that jealousy as an emotion will always exist within a relationship is much healthier than pretending that everything is okay all the time.
Are your expectations too high?
It’s a little unreasonable to expect your partner not to be attracted to anyone else. What’s important is remembering your relationship and that just because they find someone attractive doesn't mean they will act on it. Leahy adds that “the rules people may have can make them more prone to jealousy”. So trust in your partner and lower your expectations.
Stop Searching, It’s Toxic!
Sometimes that little green-eyed monster can start creeping out, next thing we know we’re on our partners' ex’s social media, checking their phone while they're in the shower or interrogating them about where they’ve been. This is a toxic habit and even if you find nothing you don't feel reassured, you just feel bad about yourself. And doing those things, can break the trust and ultimately cause your partner to distance themselves from you. Heartbreak guaranteed. So resist the urge and refer to our first point, just talk it out!
Just remember that jealousy is okay but it’s not you against your partner, it’s the two of you against that lil green-eyed monster and the rest of the world.
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