Every Type Of Relationship You Will Encounter At College
Because being around college relationships is definitely something you have to prepare yourself for.
Long gone are the days of simplicity where people were either in a relationship or they weren’t, because at college everything is more complicated. But hey that just adds to the fun of it right? Some people act as though they are on the bachelor, some as though they are on love island and some like they are starring on temptation island. None of which we can say are particularly good choices, but whatever floats your boat.
We have compiled a list of the different types of relationships you are no doubt going to encounter within your college years, helping you identify which relationships you should be avoiding like the plague.
The one-night stand
I guess you could say the most typical college stereotype, mating season at college is rifer than in the actual jungle.
Most young people head off to college with every intention of simply sleeping around with as many people as possible and of course, never the same person twice. Because that is of course the first thing that comes to mind when living the best days of your life right?
These individuals will never be in any sort of relationship for longer than a couple of hours. It is simply a cycle of go out, pull, and then simply ‘ejaculate and evacuate’. Extremely classy. How these people appear to have no feelings is honestly something no one can understand, we just hope they aren’t spreading STI’s around the campus.
Long story short maybe try and avoid this type of relationship, and if you don’t just make sure you are making as much use of the free condoms college has to offer as possible.
The friends with benefits
Yup, you knew this one was coming. It is safe to say we have either all been in this position ourselves or have a friend that has, either way surely this relationship has never ended well?
Friends with benefits is destined to fail but at least they are more committed than our good friend the one-night stander. This option is for those who want consistent sex without commitments, you never owe the other person anything and never have to discuss exclusivity. Perfect.
The infamous ‘you up?’ messages are the only foundation this relationship really has. At college as much as we hate to say it there will be at least one person in your flat within this type of relationship. So just prepare yourself with a box of tissues and chocolate when they undoubtedly catch feelings, and if this is you… good luck.
The long-distance lovers
Ah yes, the couple that must sacrifice almost every minute of every day to keep this relationship going. This is undoubtedly the most difficult relationship to maintain at college. They give up many a night out just to face time them and spend the entirety of their student loans traveling to see them.
As cute as it is that these two can maintain their relationship, we could really do without the continued cringe ‘I miss you x’ captions on Instagram. Also, not to be salty but it does kind of make the rest of us feel slightly bad about our love lives.
The destined for disaster long distance lovers
On the other hand, this is a relationship we definitely do not envy. Like the relationship above, well at least one side of the relationship thinks anyway.
These long-distance lovers will act all lovey dovey on facetime despite one of them is cheating with half of the college campus. This is just awkward for all flatmates/ friends when said cheating partner brings their loyal partner up for the weekend and you must sacrifice every moral belief you have not to expose them for the pig they actually are. Because ‘they should really be the one to tell them’.
For gods’ sake if this is your friend, please just give their partner a break and expose them.
The mom and dad
Arguably the most annoying couple on campus. They labeled themselves the mom and dad of the group and everyone simply doesn’t care enough to argue against it.
They probably got together in freshers and stayed together ever since… aw true love. They prefer to spend nights in having ‘Friends’ marathons rather than going out. And when they do go out, well aren’t you in for a fun night. They feel it is their job to watch over every group member like a hawk, you know, when they look up long enough to from their making out marathon. They will probably also only last in the club for two hours max, before it's back to bed in their matching pajamas.
The ‘been together forever and had to go to college together’ couple
Is this really boring or goals? Who knows.
They will have the same friend group both at college and at home so of course never leave each other’s side or branch out.
They will then ditch all their friends just to live together in second year like an old married couple, for what reason who knows. In all honesty, we can’t even understand why this couple would choose to move away to college, it is not exactly like it is going to be a life changing experience for them when they are attached at the hip the way they are.
The flatcest gone wrong
Definitely not the type of relationship you want to aim to be in trust us. Flatcest is awkward enough, let alone when it ends horribly.
These two will have started some kind of weird dysfunctional relationship at the beginning of freshers which was, like many of these relationships, destined to fail. And when it did, boy did everyone know about it.
It is like having to live with an ex for a year even if you were never even together, and worst yet you are probably in the same friendship group so there are no chances of ever being able to avoid them. Imagine hopping out of bed to make breakfast to be faced with a failed relationship in the kitchen every morning. Yeah, we wouldn’t recommend.
If there is any sign for you to want to avoid flatcest, let it be this one.
So, in conclusion, maybe the single life is the way to go. The chances of finding your prince charming at college is very slim but don’t let us demolish all your hopes and dreams.