The 5 Things I've Learnt From Being Freshly Single In My Early Twenties
And the advice I wish I had known...
Within the past month, I spontaneously broke up with my long-term boyfriend and quit my job.
Some would say my behaviour as of late could be categorised within the realm of self-sabotage, and maybe, (probably) their right. But In saying that, I've already learnt a lot about myself and the people I surround myself with. So I thought I’d share some of my insights.
1. You don't have to go through a ‘hoe phase’
Although considered a ritual for many, don't feel pressured to experience it yourself. As many who have engaged will tell you, it's usually not worth it. For some, it may keep them distracted and speed up the process of getting over their ex, but often it can shift one's perceptions of sex and self-worth. The only way to fully heal is with time, we’ll get there! (eventually).
2. No one cares who broke up with who.
Whether you're the one who was dumped or not, there's no shame. I've been on both sides of the spectrum and can confidently say that no one is judging you or looking down on you!
3. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're not alone.
I used to hate going to bed alone, it never felt right. At the beginning of my breakup, I was terrified to be stuck with my thoughts every night. But as I began to regain my confidence and independence, I found solace within my own company and began to treat myself like my very own best friend. I soon realized my own self-worth was a reflection of my negative outlook on life, and when I began engaging in self-sustaining experiences it completely altered my perceptions on the value of company.
4. Having spare time isn't a bad thing.
Cherish the free time you now have! The world is chaotic and ever-changing, utilise your newfound free time to slow down a bit and take some time for some self-care.
5. Spending time with your friends is just as important as your partner
It wasn't until I was out of my relationship that I realized how much I was neglecting my friends.
Boyfriends come and go, but your true friends will always be by your side through it all.
It's easy to forget this when you're infatuated and occupied by a lover, but it's important to dedicate just as much time for the platonic soulmates within your world.
Basically, Just enjoy yourself and remember not to take it all too seriously. If it’s meant to be it’ll be! And if not, take these lessons you’ve learnt and apply them to all aspects of your life and prepare to flourish.
Up next, Tips For Dealing With A Breakup