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Are You Ready To Move In With Your Partner?

This is how you know.

POSTEDBYCONTRIBUTING AUTHOR

Moving in together is a big step in any relationship, and it’s true what they say- you don’t truly know someone until you’ve lived with them. However, if you want to set yourself up for success then it’s worth making sure that you know as much about the other person as possible so there won’t be too many big surprises, and you’re making an informed decision about what you’re getting yourself into. In the early days of a relationship, we all have our rose-tinted spectacles on and it can be difficult to see past your partner's flaws or potential mismatches with your own personality, so give it time and don’t rush. There’s no set timeline as each couple is different, but you should go into moving in together with a clear and rational mindset and not just overwhelmed with love and lust. Here are some of the ways you can tell that you’re ready to consider taking the plunge and moving in together. 

 

You get on well most of the time

No couple is perfect, even the most level headed and nonargumentative people in the world won’t see eye to eye on everything. Occasional disagreements are normal- as long as you’re arguing in a healthy way and coming to a resolution at the end where you’re both happy with the outcome. However, if you’re already arguing a lot, even before moving in then this should be a warning sign. Once you live together and are spending more time in each other's company, things can become more heated and arguments can increase. Only consider moving in with your partner if you get along well most of the time, if you don’t then work on repairing your relationship and issues first. 

 

You’ve met each other’s friends and family

Partners that are properly involved and invested in each other will have met the other’s loved ones. It’s a natural part of the relationship that you begin to share with each other as things progress, and can be a sign of a healthy relationship. If you’ve been dating for a long time and are yet to meet anyone in their circle then this can sometimes indicate issues, and if you’re yet to introduce them to your friends and family- ask yourself why? If either you or they feel the need to hide something then it’s probably not a good time to start taking big steps like moving in together. Meet each other's loved ones first, take things one step at a time.

 

You enjoy some of the same things

You don’t need to have all the same interests to get along with another person, the old adage ‘opposites attract’ can be true. However, it’s important to at least have something in common with the person you’re with- it could be going out to eat, staying home and watching movies, going to the gym together, or playing a sport- something that connects you as a pair. Having this common interest means that you have ways to spend time together that both of you enjoy. If you’re an outdoorsy person and hate being cooped up, but they hate all of that and want to stay in all the time for example, then this could cause some issues. You don’t need to both love the same movie or music genres, you can both have very different passions and interests that the other doesn't share. 

 

You’ve had a discussion about the future and are on the same page

It can be nerve-wracking speaking about the future with a partner, especially if you haven't been together for all that long. But it’s an important conversation and one that everyone needs to have. If you’re set on getting married and having kids in the future for example, if they’re completely against it then it shows that perhaps the relationship isn’t going to work out. If they want to spend five years traveling the world but you want to stay and work on your career then again, it’s a mismatch of interest and something better to find out sooner rather than later. Of course, there’s always compromise and some people will change their mind, but you need to have an idea of what they’re thinking so you know you’re not investing time and effort into something that simply can’t work. Let alone moving in together and making things more complicated. 

 

You’ve spoken about money

Money is another tricky one in relationships, as it’s a bit taboo and a deeply personal subject. However, when you join forces with someone else as a couple, it’s important to have an idea of each other's money situation. If one of you is heavily in debt and having a lot of money issues for example then this is something the other should really know about. If one of you has bad credit, the other will need to know especially if you’re planning on renting or buying a home together since it will be based on both of your scores. Use a house loan calculator to figure out what you’d be able to afford together, and how things would work if one of you has much higher earnings than the other. Along with this, an idea of how the other person spends their money can be useful too, if one of you is a big spender and the other likes to squirrel their cash away in savings then consider how or if this would impact your relationship. For example, you might want to travel or buy nice homewares together but they’d prefer to save their money instead. It doesn't have to be a huge issue but it’s something to find out about before living together. 


Next up, Coping with Long Distance Relationships During Lockdown

 

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