What Is A Fuckboy And Why Do You Keep Dating Them?
Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy.
According to internet definitions, the term “fuckboy” refers to a “man” (quotations because is he really?) who is “weak” or “contemptible” and “has many casual sexual partners”. He is also someone who doesn’t respect women but expects so much in return.
For example, have you ever had the misfortune of meeting a guy who seems to get a kick out of stringing you along, refuses to text back because apparently the concept is alien to him, but will however drop a booty call every now and then? Yeah, that’s a fuckboy. Literally a walking, talking definition of one.
This is a guy who isn’t really interested in YOU. Your personality, what makes you happy (or sad), your family, your interests and goals in life - none of these things matter to him. He shows enough signs to keep you guessing but will keep you at arm’s length nonetheless so that you don’t get too close to him. The more you try, the more he pushes you away. And yet when he wants something from you - usually money or sex - suddenly he resurrects himself from the dead.
Girl, we are here to tell you that you are worth way more than that. But to get to such self-realization, you need to understand why you continue to keep a fuckboy around despite the alarm bells going off inside your head. Here’s our take on this and what to do the next time you get within 5 feet of one.
Do you enjoy "the challenge"?
Falling for a fuckboy is the easy part; the hard part is keeping him interested. A fuckboy’s entire existence is based on making you second-guess yourself. Even if you’re doing all the right things to make a relationship work, he still doesn’t seem to budge. However, do you sometimes find yourself enjoying the “challenge”? Maybe you tell yourself that you’re the one who can change him and finally secure the bag? Or perhaps his part-time affection is somewhat enough for you because getting that sort of attention in the first place is an achievement in itself.
The problem with that is, it never lasts. Maybe every now and then you might enjoy some small victories when he suddenly treats you properly for a day or gifts you the finer things in life (most likely using the money you borrowed him a couple weeks back). But that sort of treatment is never consistent and almost always comes with a catch: he expects something back from you now. The emotional turmoil that comes with his split personality isn’t worth the hype. You deserve his full attention and love and no “challenge” is ever worth sacrificing your dignity for.
Is being in a situationship better than being lonely?
Breakups are tough, no matter what kind it is. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that nobody wants to hop on. A woman might find herself attached to a fuckboy because he relieves a part of her that is empty. He is almost key to her survival or existence and so losing him is a scary thought.
Do you know what we call this? A toxic situationship.
You are your own person. You came into this situation on your own, as your own, with your own self. It’s unhealthy to rely on someone’s presence to feel happy, especially if that someone brings more misery than joy. Instead of focusing on what HE provides you, focus instead on what YOU can do for YOURSELF. Reconnect with the things that used to bring you happiness: maybe it’s writing, maybe it’s going to the cinemas, maybe it’s a day of pampering yourself. Find solace and comfort in the arms of friends and family who are there for you and your emotional needs. Slowly, with time, this fuckboy becomes nothing more than a stranger and you’ll realise just how little you need him after all.
Time heals all wounds and this fuckboy is merely a scratch.
He believes you have low self-esteem
A fuckboy is basically akin to a predator: he can sniff out low self-esteem among a crowd of women and target the “weakest” of them all. He will make you feel special as if you stood out from the rest of them on some divine shit, but really, truly, he knows that he can manipulate you until that girl you were once is no more.
You thought you were confident and full of life, but he will reassure you that you are not. By doing that, he can continue to keep you down and under his thumb, so that it’s easier for him to control your life while dipping in and out when he chooses.
But he’s wrong. You’re not a weak, incompetent, little girl, are you? No, you’re strong. You’re capable of so much. You’re larger than life and you’re ready to take your life back. These are self-love affirmations that every woman should be saying to herself. Much like how sunlight kills vampires, this too shall repel and eradicate a fuckboy from your life.
Remember: a fuckboy is a fuckboy because he has little self-worth and gains all his pride from victimizing strong women in order to make himself feel better. The next time one tries to make you his puppy, let him know exactly what he is and strut yourself the hell up out of there.