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When The Big O Is MIA

When orgasms just don’t happen.

POSTEDBYELLA DAVIS

"Oh I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm... It's gone." That moment when you feel like a life altering orgasm is about it take over your body only for you to feel nothing, it happens. It doesn't mean anything is broken, don't worry about that. Trust us it's not gone forever either. It's a frustrating, overwhelmingly terrifying experience and sometimes it is too embarrassing to talk about.

It takes a little work to get the good juices flowing in us women. We can all climax, but it's the cumming that can get blocked up. Then its either you fake it so you don't let your vertical partner feel ashamed or you straight up let them know: "I didn't have an orgasm". Not all of us are built to be straight up about things, especially about sex and intimacy. But don't worry we've consulted a whole lot of research (no not just Google!) to help you understand why your orgasm has gone MIA and how to get it back in action. 

1. You are pressuring yourself to have an orgasm quickly.

See orgasms have a lot to live up to, thanks to Hollywood orgasms are portrayed to be these violent throughs of ecstasy, back bending, JGFH (Just Got Fucked Hair) creating thrusts of passions that happen almost instantaneously. If everytime you are getting intimate, whether with yourself, or with a partner and you are counting by the minutes to an orgasm, then you are not going to orgasm. You need to let it cum naturally. Each persons orgasms are different. Some cum faster than others, some cum slower, some cum sporadically during sex and some cum once, twice, thrice. If you want a real representation of cumming in movies watch the French film Amélie. You need to let your body cum naturally rather than live up to some Hollywood production.

2. You are distracted and stressed.

With all that pressure and thinking during sex, that can cause you to be distracted and can take away from having an orgasm. Women are great at multi-tasking. Some of us have brains like Google Chrome with one too many tabs open at one time that not all of them are 100% working. Our browser is about to crash when we are having sex and we just opened another tab without having closed all the others before. That browser crash is you being stressed out of your mind and body. You cannot relax leading you to not have an orgasm. 

If this is the case you may need to take a step back and try some meditation before you have sex or get intimate. Stress can kill your libido. Some women's brains just don't have an off switch, therefore meditation just doesn't work out for them. That is ok, a strategy to use is to try and concentrate on the present when you feel like your browser is about to crash. Take a deep breath and concentrate on one thing, maybe a touch of your lovers hand? From there try and concentrate on something else in the moment, the rhythm of the thrusts maybe. Slowly concentrate on the present and relax and enjoy what magical feeling awaits you. 

3. You might need a session alone with you, some lube, The Rabbit and a mirror (optional).

Do you know how to orgasm? Do you know what feels good to you and what does not? Have you had a bad sexual experience and lost your mojo? Do you produce enough of your own natural lube or do you need some assistance? The last part is normal, only 40% of women are able to produce enough of their own juices to help get it going. Adding in some lube doesn't mean you are going to have an orgasm like magic, but it can help you relax.

Secondly, you sometimes need to visit your friend below and explore what feels good to you. The Vagina is a wondrous place that has many hidden points of touch that can cause that back bending orgasm that has gone MIA. 

Thirdly, roughly half of sexually active women can orgasm from penis-vagina penetration, so don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes adding a little clitoral stimulation, with hand or vibrator,  can help you on your way, so go ahead girl, give it a try you have nothing to loose and maybe a lot to gain. 

4. Your partner does not turn you on. 

Whether it is not enough foreplay or your partner does not make you feel comfortable, this one can be very scary to face. If you are not getting enough foreplay, you aren't going to orgasm. So speak up! You want more foreplay? Say it! 

But if on the other hand you partner just doesn't make you comfortable enough to cum, you need to sit with yourself and have a heart to heart with your body. Cumming is a very intimate vulnerable experience, sometimes our bodies are not ready to be completely vulnerable with a person it has a 'weird vibe" from. This doesn't mean that there is necessary anything wrong with your partner, your body has not gotten to know your partner well enough to let its guard down. This is just an evolutionary mechanism. Sometimes it takes time. It will happen naturally when it is time. 

5. Your medication is a cum blocker.

If you are on SSRI's or anti-anxiety medications, they could be the culprit cum blocking you from those passionate throws in bed. These medications can play around with your sex hormones making everything go a little haywire! You need to consult your doctor, because the bedroom tango could be great, its the grand finale where all the fireworks are meant to go off, got the scheduling wrong. 

Get yourself into a body confident groove and take some kick ass nudes with our tips!

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