How To Take KILLER Nudes

In all honesty the CIA, FBI, MI6 have all seen us naked in one position or the other. Snapchat was originally created to send "Nudes Safely", we were droppin' panties and ripping off bras to show our list of lovers what we got. And frankly, who gave a shit if their nudes leaked? Look what it did for Kim Kardashian. But what if our nudes were to leak, or your lover of the moment is asking for some pretty titty pics, how would we go about taking them? We haven't had a complaint about our nudes, but there is always room for improvement. 

What about taking nudes for yourself? For art purposes of course.

The internet has 1000+ tips on the perfect nude. So we condensed them into 10 top tips (these were tested) for taking killer nudes to drive anyone to lust for more or a Hollywood career from a few strategic leaks.
 

1. If you feel good, you'll radiate it.

Ever had a guy send you the "Send me a pic of what you got on...", only for you to be waxing your 'stache, hair mask in, in your fave Cheeto's covered PJ's with Law and Order SVU on your TV. You feel sexy? No? Not the best time to take a nude. Just message him back: "What I got on will give you a heart attack champ (winky emoji)". IF you are having a good nudes session, take a few and save them for a day like that one.


2. Power of Assumption and Imagination is key.

Don't go fully nakey straight up. Leave a little to the imagination, let the receivers imagination run wild, let them assume what's not being shown. Send a little bit of lace peaking out from somewhere, send a cleavage shot in your fave bra. Let them go wild.


3. You are in control.

No one can make you take nudes in positions or outfits or cross your limits. You are in control no matter what. If they are being pushy. Stop, get sassy, tell them to go put a porno if they want something for the wank bank. Block. Get a mojito enjoy your life. 


4. Angles girl!

Just like a selfie you need to know your angles. Show off what you got! Got titties Pam modelled hers after? Make them the subject. J.Lo ain't got shiz on your ass profile. Girl HIGHLIGHT IT.


5. Ass pics are hard!

Sit on your vanity in the bathroom with a thong on and take a selfie in that mirror. It's going to make your ass look PHAT! 


6. Make sure your surroundings are clean.

You might look amazing, but you don't want to look like the Duchess of Trash Kingdom or Governess of Toothpaste Mirror. 


7. Don't show your face.

Unless you are in a committed relationship, long distance (but you've met them for real, no catfish stuff), engaged, married, about to get a divorce over who cleans the kitchen.


8. Do a strip tease.

Send photos in series where in each photo you don't have an item of clothing on. Do this over minutes, hours, days. Make them beg!!!


9. Your friends are your best critiques.

Send nudes to a friend before sending them on, get their opinion.


10. Have fun, get wild, put on a track to get you going.

Anyone have Kris Kardashian on Speed Dial? I might have some leaked nudes.

After all that sextual conversation, why not let your lover know, you got some desert for them down south. Check out our tips for getting eaten out.