We Fuckin’ On A Monday: Get Eaten Out Or Get Out

They say giving men BJ's are like giving them flowers. Men rave and rave about how good a little oral fixation (and not the talking kind) can help with their mental health. From helping with concentration levels, "it cures everything," to "it mends my childhood trauma." But listen here, fellas, going down to pussy town actually prevents cancer for your girl! 

Our pussy loving scientist over at the State University of New York have the low down! While we know men have no problem getting their weiners out to get sauced, us women are a little shy when it comes to our gal pal getting a licky licky (in the words of Pitbull).

Understandable, guys look at their dicks all the time. It's right there in front of their faces. Vaginas are a hidden flower far away from our sight. If we haven't gotten all up in that, how the hell are we going to let someone eat it up like it's Thanksgiving Dessert?

Don't be scared! Spread them legs, girl, and tell your lover to go down there like it's a Gelato on a hot day. Guaranteed, you'll love it so much you'll be praising us at climax. 

Today we debunk your fears to getting oral action, one lick at a time. 

I have a jungle between my legs! I haven't shaved!!!

Pubes are normal; they are natural; if you don't have them yet, you shouldn't be reading this. If you missed a wax job, a shave, forgot a trim, so what? Rock it with confidence! Men don't care about pubes; that's your mark as a woman. If he's grossed out, he's not a man; he's a boy, and you better not be texting him. How many times have you given a BJ to a guy, and it looks like a stalk coming out of the bush? Case closed. Next. 

What if it hurts? What if my partner gets a little aggressive and bites me? 

It won't hurt! You might feel uncomfortable at first, but you need to let go and relax. If you aren't feeling it, that's ok. There is no shame in saying stop. Your partner isn't eating it like it's chicken wings; he's licking it like a gelato, a delicate, tasty sweet mixed berry flavor (Cue Peaches and Cream song). If your partner wants to nibble, talk to them about it. You might want to try it; you might even like it...

My Vagina smells

Vaginas smell! It's normal. Each Vagina has her own delicate smell. She isn't going to smell like a rose garden all the time; sometimes, she'll have a bad day. Just have a shower and wash up before you engage in oral. An adult won't be deterred if you say, "I am just going to freshen up." On the contrary, they'll appreciate it. 

So now that your fears have been destroyed, grab your lover and get downtown. Get all that clit-oral pleasure you've been missing out on. Be selfish; explore what you like. Or give back and take turns. Give a little, get a little. Or why not 69 it? If they don't want to go downtown, tell them to get out! 

Cumming cures depression; oral prevents cancer!

More fears and myths thrown out at Period Sex, the taboo.