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Ways To Stop Overthinking Your Relationships

The demon within all relationships and how to stop it.

POSTEDBYRACHEL TOOLEY

We all get cornered by those ‘OMG, what if…’ thoughts. It’s in our nature to analyze different situations around us, including the people we spend the most time with. However, it can often overwhelm us, causing a weight of unnecessary drama and tension upon our shoulders.

Overthinking is usually caused by our curiosity about what other people are thinking (let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to read their boyfriend's mind from time to time?). It’s not just your relationship either, it happens in the workplace, with friends and even with family. The modern way of communicating is often by text message or Snapchat, which can actually make it more difficult and confusing to communicate with someone. Everyone has their own style of texting, so don’t worry too much if someone writes you a straight forward message, or doesn’t add a kiss at the end. We often worry about what or how someone is texting us, whereas if we saw them in person, the vibe would be completely different. 

Your inner Sherlock Holmes is itching to get to work as soon as a slight tingling of doubt hits the surface, making it super easy to jump to the first and worst conclusion possible. If this process becomes a regular habit, it can be extremely damaging to the relationships you’re worrying about – the relationships you often care about the most. So what else can you do?

First of all, be realistic. Create a sensible response to your negative thoughts, stop thinking about the worst-case scenario. Usually, the facts are self-explanatory. If they’re not replying to your texts, their most likely busy at work and don’t have time to chat. 

Don’t assume your current relationship will be exactly the same as the last. Everyone is different, people mix and communicate differently, so stop getting caught up with these thoughts and enjoy the present. Just because you’ve been ghosted before, you shouldn’t go psycho when you don’t get your reply within two hours, it’s usually not the end of the road. If you constantly create these nit-pickings you often end up pushing someone away or creating a bubble that you get isolated within. Sometimes you gotta’ chill and let them come to you.

Stop trying to think of alternative meanings to someone’s behavior, if they’re being blunt or quiet, they might just be having an off day. A simple “are you ok?” is often much appreciated by someone who might be struggling with something and doesn’t know how to talk about it.
If a certain situation is really bothering you, say it damn straight. Sometimes it’s better to stop tiptoeing around someone and just get it off your chest. Their response is likely to be a lot more plausible than you expect, and you could just save yourself an argument.

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