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The Types Of Guys I’ve Met As A Female Creative

The ART of attraction.

POSTEDBYRAPHAEL

I am an actor-artist. I’ve studied fine art since I was young, but in recent years I’ve leaned towards acting. I’ve met lots of artist, actor, and plain old, regular dudes. These are just some of the types of guys that I’ve met working in New York City.


Guys with “niche” hobbies

These dudes could be artists, but a lot of times they’re not. They’re just your average dude who is really into music, movies, comics, or some other form of easily consumable entertainment. They don’t make anything, but they act like they’re more knowledgable on their subject of “expertise” than any woman. If your tastes don’t match up to theirs, then they think you’re not too smart or that “You’re not a real fan until you’ve listened/watched/read to X.”

As someone who grew up taking art classes at a comic book college (Yes, that is a real thing.), this type of guy has always annoyed me. They’re gatekeepers. They’re the types of dudes that act like they own the club when they can’t even get in.


Artist Dudes

My wonderful and lovely soft-spoken counterparts. There’s nothing like them. They’re incredibly shy. Really shy. Like almost mute.

I like these dudes, but it’s almost impossible to get anywhere with them. They’re terribly sensitive. I’ve had quite a few of them take some things terribly personally in a quiet way. Like they blame themselves or feel unlovable. I don’t know how to explain it, but a lot of artists don’t have terribly high self-esteem and often suffer from depression. A few I knew had been in emotionally or physically abusive relationships. Another had tried to kill himself several times in a Willy Loman-like way. 

Just a lot of silence. Lots of psychedelic and harder drugs. Really hard to get them to hang out with you, let alone wrestle them into even believing you want to date them.


Actor Guys

Actors were weird to me at first. I had always associated with artists and introverts before that and my ability to talk to other people made me think I was extremely extroverted. Nope. I wasn’t at all and I certainly wasn’t prepared for actors.

Always down to hang. They always want to get drinks and weirdly enough I thought that was wilder than the artists I knew who would do hard drugs when they were alone.

I didn’t know men could be this weird, but it could just be that actors are taught to accept themselves in all their weirdness. I had one guy who would message me every Saturday night, just as he was getting high, another who would not stop mumbling under his breath how cute I was, and then another who asked if I would join his newly-opened relationship. The answer to the last one, if you are wondering, was no. It was my third time meeting him, not that I would have said yes had I known him longer. Actors move fast. A lot faster than the glacial pace of artists.

Lots of drinking and group hangouts. So very social. Sometimes they're nice and others just jump off the deep end. Understand what it’s like to work in the industry and don’t take as much personally.


Writers

No. There are just so many red flags.


Guys Who Just Suck

You know that awkward moment when you don’t like a guy’s taste in music? Yeah, try not liking the actual art he makes or the poetry he writes. I feel just as obligated to lie and say I like it.

I hate it. I don’t want to hurt someone’s ego and it’s not my place to give constructive criticism. I’m just another artist. I can’t say how they should grow or what their voice should be, but if I don’t like that voice it makes me wonder why I was interested in them in the first place.


Guys Who Talk About “The Grind”

These are the types of guys that have hard work instead of a smart work mentality. They really think you have to rough it, but selling mixtapes on a sidewalk never got anyone anywhere. They lack business sense. They have no idea how the industry they want to work in works.

Art is a lot more business than people like to pretend. Things do not just happen. People are not just discovered. You have to go out and find your own opportunities, advertise, getting passed up, and then moving on to the next thing.

I was testing the waters with a guy like this. I became very excited when he told me he was also an actor. Then he asked me what a casting director was and said he had taken a four-year break acting (Yikes). 

In the end, after meeting all these guys, I think I have also met —

 

Myself

Sometimes I’m envious that a guy can be half as good as anyone, but can speak twice as confidently as anybody else. Sometimes I go for guys I’m not interested in, even if they are interesting, just because I am lonely. And sometimes I want to be left alone.

I’m naturally competitive. I’m still growing emotionally and trying to settle down with myself. I don’t know I want anyone at this moment because I think there are still more guys I have to meet.

 

Next up, Get That Girl: How To Ask Lesbian Women Out

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