The Secret To Forming Forever-Friendships As An Adult
“If you wanna’ be my friend, you gotta’ slide in my DMs.”
So, you’ve left school and graduated from university… your BFFs have all started their 9-5 jobs, are settling down with their high-school sweethearts and moving cities, & countless bullshit friendships that once promised to be ‘everlasting’ have faded away right in front of your eyes. Suddenly, many girls in their early twenties find themselves left without a best friend to attend events with or to call after their 6th bad break-up of the year - in fact, 22% of millennials say that they have no friends at all. Without a doubt, every adult will feel loneliness at some point in their lives, so we’re here to provide you with some tips on how to conquer the fear of the cringey task of making new friends as an ‘almost-adult’.
Realize the fear is in your head babe!
If you’re serious about going out there and meeting new people to form relationships with, the first thing you’ve gotta’ really come to terms with is the fact that every single person that you ever meet will be up for making a new friend. Yes, EVEN that cool girl on Instagram who already seems to have thousands of friends. No matter how popular a person seems to be, there will always be room for 1 more… you’ve just got to prove that you can add value to their lives. How many times have you been told that the only thing you have to fear is fear itself? I mean you should also be scared of drowning and burning alive but for the sake of this tip just pretend that it’s true. Think of all those festivals, house parties, gigs, movie trips and most importantly memories that you will miss out on, just because you were too worried to take the first step. Anyone who rejects you isn’t worthy of your time anyway, so fuck ‘em!
Morph yourself into the perfect BFF
Let’s be honest, a good best friend can be hard to find, and you’ve got to be exactly the type of friend that you are currently DYING to have. Realistically, we’re letting you in on these secrets assuming that you already know the basic idea of what it takes to be a good friend but; if you’re still a little unsure after a few years out of the friendship game, here’s a couple of valuable tips.
- Don’t be a backstabbing, lying bitch. That might come across a little harsh, but to be bluntly honest, if they’re your personality traits you can’t be surprised when you’re left at home singing Beyoncé’s, ‘Me, Myself & I’. Seriously, you want your friends to believe in you and to feel as though they can come to you for guidance and advice. Radiate good energy and it will come right back to you when you need someone to hold your hair back after too many Tequilas.
- Don’t be the crier, moaner or party-pooper. Be the kind of person that others want to be around. If you’re a confessed complainer, who always looks on the downside of things, you probably need to put that part of your personality behind you (or come up with a cunning disguise to fool your wannabe new mates!). Everyone has down days babe and we ain’t disputing that and your friends will be there to help you through them – but try to keep the DMC’s (deep meaningful chats FYI) to a minimum when you’re at the rave, let’s save ‘em for 5 am at the after-party.
Make plans and STICK TO THEM
We’re all guilty of making plans on days where we’re feeling super sociable, and then when it comes around the actual day, we CBA to drag ourselves out of our beds and would much rather spend the day stuffing our faces with ice-cream, binge-watching Euphoria. But, being the loner that you currently are, unfortunately, you don’t have this luxury, babe. GET OUT OF BED, MAKE PLANS AND DON’T FLAKE. To make friends, you’ve gotta’ go places to make friends, or else you’re just going to die alone with your vibrator.
Steal your friends’ friends.
FYI, we don’t ACTUALLY mean steal. We’re not expecting you to creep into their houses at night, balaclava in hand, but you gotta’ make use of the contacts you already have. To be fair, it might be a little brave of us to assume you have the friends in the first place to be even able to make use of this tip, but fingers crossed, you know at least one person in this big old world. We will admit, heading out and trying to make friends with completely new people you’ve never met before will be a little hard, and you might come across as a little desperate to these strangers. We’re not going to embarrass ourselves by telling you to go out there and join your local knitting club, so, the perfect place to start is hanging out with friends-of-friends, or finally make plans to meet up with those girls you met once whilst you were being sick in the porta-loo last summer.
Don’t make fake friends just because you’re lonely ATM
The feeling of loneliness does really hit you HARD after graduation, and it’s easy to get lost in the thought that you’re always going to feel this way. But we promise you, there ain’t no chance of that happening – this is just a temporary, really, REALLY shit feeling. So, we beg you, do not make fucking shitty friends just because you’re desperate for that connection.
Try your best to find people who you have genuine connections with and allow them to genuinely get to know you. Reach out to those that have similar interests to you and that you get good vibes from, not just the people who you think are ‘cool’. This ain’t high school anymore, you don’t have to pretend to like the popular bitches just to do well. If you’re into fashion, search for fashion communities online and join in discussions there. The same goes if you love techno, photography or even fucking gardening. Send that DM to that girl you always see posting about the things you’re passionate about on your timeline and finally ask them if they want to chill with. We want you to find people that enrich your life and those soon-to-be BFF’s of yours will be searching for the same exact thing. It's time, turn those online friends into IRL friends!
If you do follow these 5 tips and end up with thousands of extra followers on Instagram, become a famous influencer and get invited to Rihanna’s FENTY fashion show, we want an invite bitch (and half the royalties!).