Speaking Up and Regaining Your Control of Your Sexual Desire

Know what may be causing your low sex drive.


It happens, every so often in a relationship when your partner wants to have sex, but you’re not in the mood for it. A woman’s sexual desire goes through a series of highs and lows constantly fluctuating caused by a long list of factors that can influence sexual desire. Furthermore, in these occasional moments, there is no need to despair from your lack of interest in sex as research shows that in heterosexual relationships women are more likely to have a lower sex drive than their male partner. On the other hand, there is a difference between the occasional lack of sexual desire and constantly feeling a lack of interest.

If you’re experiencing a lack of sexual desire, loss of sexual thoughts or fantasies, and have difficulty becoming aroused that has lasted for a long period of time, there may be more going on. If your experiencing any of these symptoms, and your lowered sexual desire is causing you concern, then it may be time to speak to your doctor to determine the cause of your low libido and the treatment options that can help.

There are many reasons as to why a woman can have reduced sexual desire. These reasons are most likely to be a physical, mental, or hormonal concern affecting your sexual desire.

Physical Causes

  • Medications: Certain medications you may be taking, for example, antidepressants and blood pressure pills, are known to have low sexual desire as a side effect.
  • Medical Conditions: Some medical conditions that affect your hormones and blood circulation can have an indirect effect on sexual desire. High blood pressure, diabetes, and coronary artery disease are a perfect example.
  • Fatigue: Fatigue from a long day at work, caring for children, illness, aging parents, and so on can be draining, thereby being a key factor in a reduction in sexual desire.
  • Alcohol and Smoking: Both drinking and smoking constrict the blood vessels decreasing blood flow. A decrease in blood flow may result in dulling your sexual desire.

Hormonal Causes

  • Pregnancy and Breastfeeding: hormonal changes occur in each of these stages hindering your sexual desire due to fatigue, poor body image, and pressure of caring for a new child.
  • Menopause: During this stage in life the production of the sex hormone estrogen decreases, and can result in a lack of interest in sex.
  • Hormonal Imbalance: A woman can experience a hormonal balance in the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone at any age resulting in a loss of interest in sex from low libido. The most common causes of hormonal imbalance are menopause, childbirth, and stress. There are many other causes for a hormonal imbalance, but luckily your sex drive can be restored for most causes with hormone therapy replacement.

Mental Causes

  • Psychological Disorders: mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression, are common causes of low sexual desire.
  • Stress: Any form of stress can shift your body’s priorities in the hormones produced to cope with the stress. An increase in the stress hormone, cortisol, may decrease the production of sex hormones causing a hormonal imbalance that may be reducing your sexual desire. 

Regaining Your Sexual Desire

Depending on the cause there are many simple effective treatments that can help you regain control of your sexual desire.
Medications: If the medication you are currently taking has side effects that reduce your sexual desire, then talk to your doctor to see if there are alternative medications that can be prescribed to treat your mental or physical medical condition. Do not discontinue any medication prior to talking to your doctor about other treatment options for your condition.
Hormone Therapy: Hormone therapy prescribed by a doctor can be highly effective in treating a low sex drive if the cause of your lowered sexual desire is due to stress and hormonal concerns.

Lifestyle Changes

This can pose a challenge, but for all other causes of your lack of sexual interest, a change in your lifestyle may be needed to restore your sex life. Lowering the amount you smoke and consume alcohol, or even quitting may help boost your low libido. Setting some time aside for you to care for yourself can be great in restoring energy, and can even be a good way of reducing your level of stress. For help talk to your doctor on what kind of changes you want to make so you are successful in changing your lifestyle to increase your sexual desire.

There is no shame in having a loss of interest in sexual activity as it is something that occurs in every relationship at some point. All women experience highs and lows in their sexual desire drive, but when your lack of sexual desire is constant and causing you concern it is time to talk to your doctor about your lack of interest and the symptoms you’ve been having. There are many reasons why you could be experiencing a reduction in your sexual desire, and with your doctor’s help, you can find a treatment that works for you in restoring your sexual desire. 


Next up, 10 Reasons Why You Should Be Masturbating Regularly