6 Kinds of People to Avoid on A Dating App

Dating apps are filled with landmines; only the bombs are people you should steer clear of at all costs. Some of us have been in the Tinder trenches for years, and we know where and, more importantly, where not to place our feet (or other body parts).

But for those of you just beginning your odyssey into the land of online dating, we will bless you with hard-earned knowledge of who to avoid—and why.

Even in the best of circumstances, it can be hard to find single women and men in the real world. It’s hit or miss IRL, never mind a picture that may or may not be the person (catfish); the photo could be ten years old or so filtered you can’t tell what they look like.

Another pitfall is people lie. Dudes will say they are 5'11" and show up slightly taller than Frodo—no disrespect to short kinds, but the deception is a red flag. Do they think we won’t notice? Honestly, the audacity almost impresses us. Almost.

We are not saying that only men lie about their stats; oh no. Women are no angels either, especially when it comes to filters. Yes, we love a cute filter; most of the time, it only slightly enhances our appearances. Still, there are egregious filter offenders out there.

So let’s dig into who you should avoid on dating apps and why!

1. People Who Think Loving ‘The Office’ Is A Personality

Look, "The Office" is a good show; you’ll get no argument from us there. But if anywhere in their bio they have a Michael Scott quote or profess their undying devotion to a TV show, swipe left or click that lil’ X as fast as you can.

2. If Their Bio Says "Good Vibes Only"

We don’t believe this one for a second. In fact, we think doth protest too much about these good vibes. Frankly, we would welcome a few bad vibes instead of this fake horseshit.

3. No Photo

So, you're telling us we are supposed to trust that you'll send us photos if we match? Is that the story? No, sir or ma'am. We aren't buying an outfit we can't see, so why would we match with a faceless online presence? Take your anonymous ass elsewhere.

4. The ‘Sarcasm Is My Second Language’ People

This one is prevalent on all dating apps, and we don’t know why or who is swiping right on this person. First of all, it's corny. Secondly, it's cringy as hell. And lastly, it is not cute or funny. If we see it again, we will go on a sex strike (jk, jk… or are we?).

5. The Phrase ‘I Don’t Know Why I’m Here’

Is this meant to be some reverse psychology type of shit? We don't know, and we don't care. Because everyone knows why you are here—it's why we are all here. Whether it's loneliness or being super horny, creating a dating app is a very specific decision. You can't do all that and then casually proclaim, "I don't know why I'm here." You know exactly why you're here!

6. The Uber Adventurer

If you take one thing from this article, it needs to be this: Never match with a person who wants to go on an adventure. It’s great that they love being outdoors and risking their lives by climbing up a rock face or maybe drowning in a river after a whitewater rafting mishap, but do not drag us into danger.

Up Next, 6 Photos Not to Put On Your Tinder Profile