Sexual Role Play: A Guide For Beginners

Spice up your private bedroom sessions.


Sex is an instinct, and many people love sex, especially dating or married couples. However, in some cases, sex may soon feel like a routine rather than a lusty escape in a long-term relationship. This can also happen, especially when one or both parties in a sexual relationship struggle to open up about their sexual needs, desires, or fantasies. One way you can elevate your sexual experience and spice up your private bedroom sessions is through sexual role play.   

What Is Sexual Role Play? 

Sexual role playing is a practice wherein you and your partner reenact a particular sexual scenario to seduce each other and heighten your sexual arousal. Think of this as a game of seduction wherein both of you will play a particular character, dress up in erotic costumes, and perform sexual advances on each other. To further elevate the experience, sexual role play may also involve using Sex Toys, accessories, and other props to be used for role playing.  

For couples who are starting to get bored of sex, sexual role playing can satisfy your innermost sexual fantasies, elevate intimate experience, and improve sexual relationship.  

How To Learn Sexual Role Playing? 

For beginners, sexual role play can be intimidating and uncomfortable. Some of you may be unsure about what to do once you’re in your costumes or are using sex toys. Some may even be clueless about how to talk dirty while playing another character. But the thing is, sexual role play is best learned through experience and with the help of active communication with your partner.  

It’s best to know each other’s sexual desires, fantasies, and expectations and use these ideas in planning your sexual role plays. Once you and your partner have done it the first time, the following role plays will become easier and more exciting as you’re both experimenting with different characters and fantasies.  

How To Sexual Role Play With Your Partner? 

If you’ve never tried sexual role playing before, here are a few tips to help you have successful sexual role plays with your partner and achieve your personal sexual fantasies.  

1. Communicate With Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies 

Before you jump into buying sex toys and costumes, you need to talk with your partner about your sexual turn-ons, expectations, ideas, and fantasies. Perhaps you’ve always fantasized about having sex while wearing a doctor-and-nurse costume. Or, maybe you’re a student caught cheating by the teacher portrayed by your partner, and the punishment turns into a wild sex scene in a classroom—set in your bedroom. Whatever fantasy or scenario you both agreed to play and take roles, make sure you’re both comfortable with it.  

Similarly, it’s best to talk about sexual activities or scenes you’re not willing to do. Keep in mind that some people are not comfortable with doing or playing certain roles or using particular sex toys that are out of their boundaries. This can also be your opportunity to confront each other’s boundaries and discuss your dos and don’ts during sexual activities. For instance, if your partner finds hair-pulling during role play an erotic move, but you’re uncomfortable with it, be open about it to ensure everyone’s informed and aware. 

2. Start Slow 

As much as sexual role playing can be an exciting idea, many people may find the whole activity awkward and silly. This is normal, especially if you and your partner have never tried role playing before and are uncomfortable with ‘playing pretend.’ In that case, don’t let the pressure get you and just take everything slowly.  

For instance, you can start by sexting your partner about your planned role play or sexual fantasy and see if they’re on board with you. If wearing costumes in bed seems too much, you can always skip that and focus on role playing through text. Sexual role playing through text will help you see if the idea sexually appeals to you without the pressure of ‘playing pretend’ in front of each other.  

3. Consider Changing Locations And Set The Scene 

If you’re both starting to feel comfortable doing sexual role plays, you can elevate the experience by changing locations. For instance, you can temporarily use your home office for reenacting your sexual fantasy of a boss and an employee. If you’re playing a scene of a woman having a date with a guy you met in a bar, you can turn your dining table or kitchen island into a little bar set-up. You can also change your bedroom, set up some sex toys, and make it look like bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism (BDSM) bedroom.   

Don’t be afraid to unleash your sexual creativity and be prop-driven as you want. For beginners, you may start by role playing simple scenarios wherein both participants are comfortable doing. Then, once you’re both used to role playing, you can begin wearing elaborate costumes, buy more complex sex toys and props, or even role play in public and other locations outside of your home. Remember, sex isn’t only about pleasure; it’s also about getting creative.  

What Scenes Can You Role Play? 

Now that you know how fun sexual role plays can be, aside from the ones mentioned above, here are a few suggestions of characters or scenarios which you may both like to try during your sexual ventures: 

  • Prince and princess 
  • Jock and cheerleader 
  • Personal fitness trainer and client 

If you’ve noticed, most of the sexual fantasies above have one person in charge. This lessens the pressure of having to ‘play pretend’ in front of the other person. So, choose who’s in charge and the follower and explore different role plays.  

Put Your Sexual Fantasies To Reality 

Sex is fun, but role playing can boost your sexual relationship to a whole new level. Now, you can start putting your sexual fantasies into reality. Don’t try to do anything perfectly, and avoid holding back. No matter what role or scene you choose, the most important thing is you’re both comfortable and having fun.

Up next, From Faking It to Doing It Daily: How I Hit My Orgasm Climax (So To Speak)