Are We Being Too Risqué In Our Clothing Choices?

If you look at the evolution of fashion through time, it’s apparent that we have become less afraid of showing skin, and have moved away from the tendency to choose the modest option in recent years. We’ve broken away from the need to feel covered, in favour of feeling more free, more confident, and more expressive. In other words, we got a little slutty! We began to feel safer when wearing less, and didn’t feel ruled by a judgemental voice telling us to cover up.

But, of course, with each push towards dressing sexier, there is a push back from those who disapprove (the judgemental voices, who tend to live both in our mind, and in our family lineage). Now, there is a difference between those who have a preference towards modest dressing (harmless), and those who use their preference as an excuse to shame others (not harmless). When someone is attempting to make you feel bad for being risqué in what you wear, it can ruin the fun you have getting dressed, and detract away from the joy you might feel when showing yourself off.

But in the modern world, where we’ve reached new levels of immodesty, I do wonder: do the people with disapproving glances have a point?

Lingerie as clothes?!

It’s not just wearing a lower neckline or a shorter hem, we’ve seemed to have gotten more comfortable when it comes to wearing lingerie as regular clothes. But is this taking it too far?

Personally, I’m all for it! A good set shouldn’t be wasted on the four walls of your bedroom. But some do question whether public decency is still a factor in choosing outfits, when we’ve literally come to wearing underwear as outerwear.

It’s a point that I’m sure a lot of people have been considering, but, whichever way you frame the argument for modesty, you’re still just finding ways to shame us out of feeling good about ourselves.

Even when we’re wearing lingerie as a top, it’s not like our underwear is the outfit. This trend still remains mindful of the provocative nature of the clothes; they’re styled in a way that dresses them down, with jeans, or under a jacket. It’s not like we’re actually stepping outside in our underwear or attending business meetings in our knickers. Most of the time, when we’re wearing these skimpy outfits, it’s in settings that allow it – like on a night out. And we’ve gotten a lot more creative with styling, so even though the lingerie bralette that we’ve paired with jeans to go to the club isn’t something you should be wearing to work, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t wear it outside of the bedroom.

Confidence shattering

When you enjoy wearing clothes that don’t exactly leave masses to the imagination, but make you feel good about yourself, chances are you’ve had to deal with the comments drenched in an inflection of pseudo-concern (but really judgment), stuff like “are you sure you’re not cold?”. As well as the pervy looks on public transport, that makes you desperately want to cover up, or take a shower. And it gets to a point where the reaction from other people has made you desperately want to change out of the clothes that you felt so good about before you left the house. It makes you question whether they’re still empowering or if they’re the opposite.

Wearing some of the sexier outfits you love requires more confidence than wearing the average outfit; we know this. Often, that confidence can be shattered by a harmful look/comment from the wrong person. And when our clothes have gotten more provocative with recent trends that beckon us to do so, is it worth getting the power knocked out of us?

Style showdown

There is an obvious divide in attitudes (and styles) when it comes to this: it seems like there is a constant fluctuation between hyper-modesty and, well, the direct opposite. And the internet seems to favour whichever position the ‘influencer-of-the-month’ holds. The hyper-modest argues that we’re over-sexualising ourselves and asking to be fetishised by not shying away from sexy in our styles, the other argues that it’s not that deep. But who’s right?

I disagree with the idea that our outfits decide whether we get sexualised or not. No one is ‘asking for it’ or inviting sexualisation with what they wear. Being fetishised is never the fault of the person being put on that pedestal, but it’s always the fault of the person who thought it was okay to put them there. As women living in the society that we do, we will be sexualised and fetishised, whatever we wear. We are fetishised by just existing. So, we might as well wear what we want and what makes us feel good!

And though it feels like judgmental people can so easily take away from the power that we feel from an outfit, it doesn’t have to be like that. No comment, look, or mean word can detract from how good you look in a skimpy little outfit!