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I Slept With My Best Friend’s Brother

It’s weird only if you make it weird.

POSTEDBYMAGDALENA PULIT

It was my friend’s birthday weekend, and on a Friday, he threw a small flat party, only for the closest ones. Shortly before it (and I’m talking minutes, not hours), I found out that his brother came down for a visit and that he would be joining us too. Didn’t sound dangerous to me and I, sure as hell, didn’t expect what I saw later. I was aware that he had a brother but that was pretty much it. Oh, I also knew that the brother was straight. Single? I asked teasingly, on my way to the party, but believe it or not, I really didn’t mean anything. Not like that

The next thing I know, I’m entering the flat and I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped for a second. I was almost mad cause nobody warned me that he looks like Jared Leto (well, kind of). You know, long hair, very tall, skinny. 100% my type. Luckily for me, the attraction was very much mutual, and I felt it in the air immediately. He was nice, sweet, smart, and funny, so the urge to kiss him was growing stronger and stronger but then… Yeah, then what? Great question cause I didn’t know why exactly but I had an impression that it would be wrong to make a move on him. Or maybe not even wrong but just, like… weird?

Weird. That is the very word I used when asking my friends for their opinion. Maybe even looking for their discouragement cause as much as I was attracted to him, I didn’t want things to get awkward. But they did the exact opposite. No, why would it be weird, you can do whatever you want and it’s none of our business, they say. You like him, he clearly likes you, go for it, girl.

Oh, and so I did, and he tasted gooood, baby. From that point, it escalated quickly, you know how it is. We went to mine cause thankfully, all my friends live in the same area as me. If you wanna skip juicy details, please move on to the next paragraph (this is directed especially at my friend who might be reading this) but he had a massive dick (should I call him The Big Brother?), he was very keen on going down on me, his cum was delicious and he fucked me in the morning again. 

Yes, I let him stay the night which I normally don’t like and try to avoid at all costs but that was another perk of sleeping with my friend’s brother. Sure, on the one hand, he was a stranger and an ONS but on the other, I was 100% certain that he could be trusted. To the extent that the next morning, I left him at my place on his own because he was very sleepy, while I had things to do. And I would never do it with any other random fuckboy, of course.

Also, as a (multiple) rape(s) survivor, although I still love sleeping with strangers (which doesn’t diminish or undermine my trauma and this refers to all survivors, of course), I often catch myself feeling suddenly scared. Scared for no apparent reason, sometimes only for a split second but the fear that a man can hurt me is usually there. I didn’t feel it with him at all, though. Maybe he was a good guy, full stop but the fact that he was my friend’s brother actually legitimized him in my eyes, however bizarre that might sound. 

The next evening, we all went out for a birthday dinner, and was it weird or awkward? As awkward as sharing tapas with someone whose dick you sucked a few hours before can get I guess, but nothing beyond the usual. Funnily enough, my friend’s girlfriend (who’s my very close friend too) admitted to me that she had a feeling that I would sleep with the brother guy even before I met him. Turns out that my friends know me better than I know myself.  

Why am I even making a story out of this? If you’re an adult, you should act like one, right, no big deal. Sure, but the fact that I needed my friends to give me the green light to go for the brother-guy made me stop for a second. And I couldn’t help but wonder (Carrie Bradshaw quote very much intended) that ever since we become aware of our sexuality, we are being taught weird preconceptions and rules which we subconsciously follow and pass onto each other later on. Don’t sleep with your friend. Don’t sleep with your friend’s friend. Don’t sleep with your friend’s brother. Don’t sleep with your friend’s ex. Don’t have sex on the first date. Have sex on the third date. Shave. Wait a few hours before you reply. Don’t send nudes. Don’t sext before you meet in person. Turn off the lights before you shag. And all the other bullshit they teach us throughout our lives, you name it.

I always considered myself a sexually liberated person, so I was quite surprised to discover that maybe I’m not this much liberated after all. Somehow, we all fall victim to these ridiculous do’s and don’ts which, repeated one time after another, are responsible for slut-shaming or any sort of sexual shaming, really. And this is how we deny the right to pleasure to others and to ourselves. Luckily, my friends are way smarter than me and they helped me to get out of society’s trap and get in bed with a hot guy instead. So, I dedicate this story to them. And to real sexual liberation.

 

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