How To Master The Art Of Online Dating As A Queer Woman

Persistence is the key.


In the heteronormative world, queer dating might seem scary. In the patriarchal society, on the other hand, dating as a woman can be intimidating too. Lastly, online dating is frightening in general. So, here comes your guide to online dating as a queer woman, inspired by Robyn Exton, founder of HER, the most popular dating app for lesbians. 

No pressure 

You don’t have to find the love of your life straightaway and just because you haven’t yet doesn’t mean you failed. Many queer women use apps to make more friends in the community. And the more people you get to know, the more chances you have to eventually find THE ONE. 

Likes aren’t that big of a deal 

A like isn’t a love declaration but a suggestion you wanna get to know someone better. This is why you downloaded the app, after all. Likes don’t cost anything and the more you send them, the more opportunities to meet interesting people you have (see the above). 


Send messages 

Online dating doesn’t really make sense if you don’t text. It’s hard to figure out who should make the first move but take a risk and she’ll defo be grateful. Worst-case scenario, you won’t get a text back. Don’t let this discourage you. People don’t respond for many reasons, so don’t take it personally and keep trying. 

Your profile pic should really be you 

And this is what will get you the most likes. No group pics, filters or sunglasses. Show them who you really are. 


COVID- 19 dating 

Video-dates are a great option of an interim date. They’re safe and chill but also, will allow you to build a more intimate connection. Make use of the social distancing time to think through who you really wanna date and what expectations you have. Talking to a variety of people will also help you to figure that out. 


No matter if you send likes, text, video-date or meet someone in person, just chill. The more relaxed you are, the better time you’ll have. And if it doesn’t work out, it’s not your personal failure. On to the next one!  


Next Up, Rules About Having Sex With Trans And Non-binary People