Initiating Sex With Ya Honey

Rule #1. The ONLY RULE before we talk about sex. Consent. Verbal Consent. No, he/she flirted a little, so yeah, that means they want it, so Imma give it. Please, no 'we've been seeing each other for weeks, so I am entitled to it' and NO NO NO NO NO, 'we are married, so it's mine'. 

Now that we established that. Initiating sex is a very vulnerable act. It is letting someone know that you want something, and that can be scary and awkward at times. Even when you have been with someone who feels like your whole life, many of us aren't as sexually confident as Samantha from Sex and the City or a sex columnist. In all honesty, we have all been there with past lovers or even our current partner. 

When we feel like something is going to be awkward, it isn't because it is; it is the fear of being rejected, and that fear builds up. You may have planned out how you are going to greet your lover at the door in a coat, completely naked underneath, and have them know you want that action. Only to awkwardly stand at the door in nothing but a coat, and then not open it when your lover opens the door and runs to the bathroom to put some clothes on. It was just fear holding you back and making it all awkward, and you missed out on some mind-blowing sex. 

Sex is fun, it's liberating, connecting. It is about you and your partner being free and fooling around. Sex is powerful. We researched some ways to get you initiating sex easily and without fear, so you can spend the week bonking.

Let go of your fears and embarrassment

This one sounds pretty tricky and cliché. 'Let go of your fears and you will achieve the unachievable' yada yada yada yada. Boring. What you should be doing is addressing your fears. Talk to your fear as thou it was a person. "Hi, fear of being sexually rejected, what up? Why you here? Don't you have someone to love this week?" When you acknowledge your fear, you can minimize its impact. Feel the embarrassment. Is it going to happen? Who cares? Laugh it off. Laughter is sexy. It's just as powerful as sex. 

Talk to your partner about creating a signal

If you aren't confident enough to just jump on your partner and go for it, then make up strategies with them. Casually mention it over dinner and say you want a way to tell him/her that you want to have sex. You could write a Post-it note with just "Sex?" on it, or you could have visual signals like a wink, not to be mistaken for pollen in your eye, and violently blinking to try and get it out. This can be a fun and easy way to ease into more daring ways to initiate sex and foreplay. Just remember, keep it fun and light. No pressures. 

Pretend it's a one-night stand

One-night stands. Yep. The old in and out. But you got what you wanted from them, right? You let your lover for the night, or two, know you wanted to get in bed and do the dance. With one-night stands, you are there for you and not for anyone else. You'll probably never see this person again, so all your fears are gone. If they judge you, who cares? You'll never see them again. There are no emotions attached. This is simply for you. Why not think of initiating sex with your partner as thou it is a one-night stand? Just go for it! What do you have to lose? A cobweb or two between your legs?

Remember, after all that bonking, to take care of your Vagina with our tips!