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5 Ways How To Spice Up Your Relationship

Conversations, sex toys and self-love.

POSTEDBYANNA GRAHAM

Most rom coms depict a relationship as a final goal and a fabulous ending of a story. In real life, though, this is just a beginning. Being in a relationship is a hard work which requires a lot of effort and at times, the initial flame of passion and desire seems to burn out. But winners never quit, don’t they, so instead of giving up on your relationship, think of the ways to spice it up. Here are our ideas.

1. Talk to your partner.

Sounds cliché but nothing is sexier than a real, honest, truthful conversation. Unfortunately, this is something that many people are afraid or even incapable of. The list of reasons is endless. Some may be too scared, embarrassed, or intimidated. Others could fear that the other person is going to judge them. Or they don’t want to offend their partner’s sensibilities. We are also hardly ever taught that talking about our feelings is actually empowering. Although this kind of conversation may seem scary at the very beginning, once you get through the initial awkward phase, it will be relieving and truly liberating. Ask your partner what they want, what they wish to change, what they fantasize about. And, most importantly, tell them about your desires. Communication is the key here.

2. Be spontaneous.

Relationships, especially long-term ones, although stable and safe, very often lack spontaneity and become routine instead. This is why acting out of ordinary can be a nice surprise for your partner. It will not only turn them on but also, it will show that you do your best for them. And you don’t have go big and crazy, sometimes a small change can lead to a way better sex. New lingerie, music, lighting, maybe even setting? Step out of bedroom and try having sex on the kitchen table, under shower, in the car, you name it. Whatever you both feel comfortable with.

3. With a little help from a sex machine, become one yourself.

Unconventional desires or fantasies are often stigmatized, especially when you are in a relationship. Many couples are interested in sex toys, for example, but they are scared to express it. As if they feared that it would show their relationships as somehow flawed, not passionate enough or simply broken and damaged. But just because you decide to use sex toys in your relationship, doesn’t mean that your sex is bad. Quite the opposite, it only means that your sex can get even better. And while sex toys may not be for everyone, people don’t realize that there are multiple types of vibrators out there, waiting for you to bring better sex into your life.

4. Stay attracted to your own self.

Self-confidence is the biggest turn on. If you feel beautiful, empowered and attractive, your partner will feel the same way about you. It’s easier said than done, of course, but try doing things that give you confidence, whatever they are. Maybe a chat with that one friend that always hype you up? A little dance to your favorite song? A new haircut? Sometimes even a chill day which will help you to relax and freshen up your body could be enough. Find your own way.

5. And remember - no pressure! 

These things take some time, so don’t be too harsh and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Your partner may not feel like having the big sex conversation today but that doesn’t mean that it will never happen. Even if your sex isn’t always the greatest, don’t draw a conclusion that your partner is not attracted to you anymore. Celebrate small steps and small successes.

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