The Five Stages Of Post-Mortem Relationship Fashion

Chances are, if you’ve decided to brave the level of vulnerability that comes with offering your heart to someone else, you’ve also endured a breakup. It’s an earth-shattering experience that completely knocks you off your feet, and though the process of learning to support yourself again is so individual, we’re still told there’s code to it - the 5 stages of relationship grieving.

It's not a conscious choice to go through them, it’s a gruelling process; you can lose passion, joy, and the sense of who you are. So, when you’re in the depths of it, what can you turn to so that you feel slightly more like a person and less like a tragedy?

Turning to fashion might just be your oxygen tank in a sea of hurt. It starts out as a distraction and becomes a lifeline, helping you to feel like yourself again. Besides, if you must stand up by yourself again, at least make your shoes cute!

Here's a guide to dressing through your five stages of breakup mourning, to help you recover from heartbreak:

The First Stage: Denial

If you’re here, it probably means that the wound is still bleeding. You haven’t come to terms with the fact that it’s over, if you’ve even realised it yet. You’re still trying to break the habit of them, stopping yourself from making their coffee in the morning, or sending them a goodnight text.

In this stage, it’s okay to still wear the stolen hoodies. You must give yourself an adjustment period, because if nothing else, a breakup is a massive change. At this moment, you’re not trying to move on, you’re trying to survive and shake the habitual side of love. Once their scent starts to fade from their clothes, or you start hating the way their old t-shirt feels on you, that’s when you know you’re ready for the next stage.

The Second Stage: Anger

Here, you’re at the point where you’re sick of crying, and it’s turned you into an irritable monster. You feel like you’ve wasted time and energy, and part of you wants reparations for all the tears shed.

How do you deal with this anger? You wear the things that they didn’t approve of. You wear a football jersey of a team they didn’t support, the short skirt, the tight top, the colour they hated. Wear it all! Let it remind you of why it had to end. Once you’ve returned to taking steady breaths, you can disarm the ticking time bomb and move on.

The Third Stage: Bargaining

At this point, you’ve already gone through the details a hundred times, the wound has stopped bleeding, but the words said have left scars. You start analysing, wondering how you got from point A to point B, and why the journey was so painful.

In this stage, you’ve just realised that you can’t be the same person that you were. It’s time to embrace the transition in the breakup, and rediscover who you are and what you wear. Try and develop your style, be experimental, discover what being single means for your wardrobe.

The Fourth Stage: Depression

We knew this was coming, like a lump in your throat that you couldn’t keep swallowing. In your fragile state, it would be a miracle if you left your bed, so all you can bring yourself to wear are pyjamas, and comfy clothes. You wear your greasy hair like a comfort blanket, whilst the days blur into one. Be gentle with yourself in this stage, if you had the energy to formulate an outfit, you would, but sometimes we don’t and that’s okay. You just have to wait for it to pass.

The Final Stage: Acceptance

It took so much to get here: the last stage, when you’re finally ready to re-enter civilised society. Now is the time to reinvent your style, as you refamiliarize yourself with who you are. You find yourself falling in love again, this time with clothes. You start wearing jeans again, maybe a going-out top, or a first-date outfit. And it feels really good. All of sudden, you’re standing up by yourself without realising it.

Broken-hearted then back at it

It seems like we accept that part of being in love is the leering possibility that it can be taken from you without warning. Yet we still take the risk, because ultimately, it’s worth it. We can go through years of being hopelessly devoted to a person just to feel nothing after it’s over. But as the world carelessly goes on rotating, even when it feels like ours stops, we must come to terms with the fact that life goes on, just maybe not with them. And with this, we must find ways to cope with the change, and reinvent ourselves to suit our new lives.  

Before you know it, you’re stood opposite them in your doorway, reunited with a box of your stuff. You look down, and notice that you’re in an outfit that their version of you would’ve never worn, and you can see your growth lined up in front of you, like a film reel. You’re not their partner anymore, but you’re the most you that you’ve ever been.