3 Easy Steps To Make Your Boring Relationship Feel Exciting Again
No cheesy suggestions included.
You once sat at a coffee shop for five hours with this person discussing your hopes, dreams and favorite conspiracy theories, and now you’re…. bored? How the eff did this happen? Where did the spark go? And more importantly, will it ever come back?
If you’re bored in your long-term relationship, you’re not alone. For many couples, once the excitement of falling in love is over and discussions about bills, rent, mortgages, budgeting for car repairs and grocery shopping replace starry-eyed café chats, the relationship will start to feel pretty stale.
Here’s what it means if your relationship feels more boring than a slow WI-FI—and how to break out of the rut without breaking up.
1. Stop Worrying
If you two have been together for a while, getting bored at some point is practically inevitable.
Our brains are literally wired to look for the newest, most exciting things. (Why do you think Apple makes so much money releasing new iPhones every year?) We get tired of the same ‘ole, same ‘ole in our jobs, meals and fitness routines. So, you should expect for this to happen in your relationship too.
But what are you supposed to do about it? Well, you could break up and bounce from relationship to relationship every time you get bored and still be forking out $20 a month for Tinder Plus when you’re 55. Or, if you value you partner and want to make it work, follow the next two steps.
2. Figure Out The Root Cause
First of all, you’ve got to determine if the problem is just boredom or if it’s something bigger. Are you still having sex? Are you questioning whether or not you’re still even attracted to this person? Are you on the same page when it comes to family and friends? Do you constantly argue over finances or work/life balance? Do you question if you even have anything in common anymore? If the answer is yes to any of these, then you’ve got a bigger problem on your hands that this article probably can’t solve.
But if you’re just feeling a little restless, take a step back to determine if you’re also feeling lost in other areas of your life. You have to have a balance, and your happiness cannot solely depend on your relationship. If you don’t feel stimulated by your job, friendships or hobbies, this will also reflect on your relationship, causing you to feel dissatisfied.
If you’re feeling pretty solid in other areas of life, it’s time to have an honest discussion with your partner about how to ~~spice things up~~ in your relationship.
3. Make A Plan
Finally, time for the fun part. Try and pinpoint what part of your relationship is boring you.
Is it the lack of conversation? To solve this is simple. People who do more, have more to talk about. People who do less, have little to talk about. Make the effort to do something fun with your significant other every day. Instead of watching TV, get out of the house and try out a new restaurant, read the same book, plan a vacation or just go for a walk around the city and grab a coffee. Whatever the case, the key is to get out of the ordinary and mix it up.
Is your sex life boring? Yes, it’s true. Sex can get rather monotonous after a few years, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring the sizzle back. Lucky for you, we’ve got a whole section of our site devoted to naughty tips. Read it here!!
Have you stopped laughing? The fastest way to stop snoozing is to start being silly. Make them laugh, meet some new friends and stop being so “adult.” Play mini-golf, go to an amusement park or challenge your partner to a board game—anything to lighten the mood. And don’t just sit around hoping your partner will liven things up. Take the lead and plan an adventure for the two of you!
Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up for feeling bored—this happens. Use it as an opportunity to have fun and learn a thing or two.
Next Up, Top 3 Couples Arguments