10 Times Carrie Bradshaw Undermined Friendship And Female Empowerment

There’s more to Ms. Bradshaw than meets the Manolos.


Despite being a zeitgeist of fashion in the early noughties, Carrie Bradshaw’s values and ethics in Sex and the City were outdated beyond belief. Although undeniably fascinating to watch, Bradshaw’s character epitomised a disregard for true friendship, hard work and female identity, all the while taking advantage of the friendship from those around her. Her regressive and selfish approach to men, relationships, feminism and friendship is an insult to modern women.

When she left Charlotte alone at the theatre because she saw Mr. Big.

So, this one really bothers me. The whole purpose of Carrie accompanying Charlotte to the theatre is to cheer Charlotte up after a married friend’s husband tried to hit on her. So naturally Carrie decided to cause a scene and leave Charlotte alone in the theatre because she saw her ex-boyfriend across the room, that far away that she needed actual binoculars to see him. Ridiculous.

When she had the audacity to be a bitch to Natasha.

In the eyes of the majority of women, if you have an affair with a married man behind their unknowing wife’s back, the wife cannot be to blame. But somehow, in Carrie-land, this is possible. Confusingly, Carrie is baffled that after the long-lived affair and the lost tooth, Natasha doesn’t want to forgive her: “I can’t believe there is someone in New York that hates me that much”. Trust me Carrie, she’s not the only one.

She bullied Charlotte into lending her the down payment for her apartment.

After acknowledging that her lustre for designer shoes played a prolific role in her lack of savings and thus lack of ability to purchase her apartment, she then proceeds to attack Charlotte for not offering to lend/give her the money. To add insult to injury, her vindictive and spiteful attack on Charlotte’s personal choice came after she already had two offers for the money: one from Samantha and Miranda and one from Mr. Big. Her guilt shaming (“You don’t even have to work, you’re volunteering!”) bullied Charlotte’s soft and sensible nature into giving Carrie her engagement from Trey for the down payment, even though she very obviously felt uncomfortable doing so. And of course, Carrie took it.

When she sent Aiden to help Miranda.

In her hour of need, laid naked on her bathroom floor, Miranda phoned Carrie for help. Carrie reacted to this in true Carrie fashion by sending her doting boyfriend, Aiden. Her bleak lack of apology and acknowledgment of her poor friendship is highlighted when she sees Miranda for the first time after her accident, and just wants to talk about herself.

When she uprooted her life to move to Paris, when she knew she didn’t love him.

Carrie’s infatuation with Petrovsky was never love, and Carrie was well aware of that. However, she did love the lavish lifestyle and gifts that he could provide for her. So when faced the ultimatum of living in New York, alongside her friends, in the place that she vowed for six seasons she would never leave, but with no boyfriend, or move to a foreign country where she couldn’t speak the language but would have a boyfriend, she naturally took the second option. Carrie’s attitude towards constantly having a boyfriend was nearly desperation. In fact, it was desperation.

Her obsession with being in a relationship.

This can be described as nothing more than an obsession. Her inability to spend time alone and just have fun with her friends or entertain herself a key theme throughout the series. When she is single, she relies on her friends heavily to entertain her and fill her time; and when she is in a relationship these friendships then have to take the backseat. Exhibit A: when she doesn’t turn up for her mate-date with Miranda because Mr. Big is cooking her veal and doesn’t even have the curtesy to call.

When Miranda is there for Carrie, and Carrie moans about the fries.

Miranda and Carrie have stern words regarding Miranda’s feelings about the constant stream of conversation which is centred around men: “All we talk about anymore is Big, or balls or small dicks. How does it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends?”. A relevant and refreshing revelation which Carrie completely ignored. Days later, upset from a run-in with Mr. Big (no shocks there) she rings Miranda. Like the true friend Miranda is she meets her in a café, to which Carrie replies with “these fries are cold”. This chick just doesn’t get it.

When she made Charlotte’s wedding about her.

You would think that your wedding day would be the one day that your selfish, whiny friend would keep her dramas to herself, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, not as Charlotte found out when Carrie brought all her self-induced Aiden/Mr. Big based drama right to the church.

She slut-shames Samantha.

This is a constant from the start of the series. Her consistent sarcastic additions to the stories of Samantha’s escapades are both regressive and just plain bitchy. Samantha’s strong sense of character meets a breaking point with Carrie’s judgement however when Carrie walks in on her with the worldwide express guy. Carrie’s nasty judgemental response (“You would never walk in me doing that, because that is something that I would never do!”) was a kick in the teeth to all the times that Samantha had supported her without judgement, even when she was having an affair.

She doesn’t go to her party thrown by fans in Paris.

When in Paris with her ‘lovah’ Aleksandr Petrovsky, she is thrown a party in her ‘honour’ by a group of French fans that she meets in a bookstore. However, disregards this sweet gesture to attend Petrovsky’s exhibition, without even so much as attempting a phone call, citing she doesn’t have anyone’s number to call. I know the series is a little retro but I’m sure there was a Yellow Pages in 2004?


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