Why Being Your 'Gay Best Friend' Is Tiring

Caution, this Tea is hot!


Let me paint a quick picture (Bob Ross wishes):

Her: Omg are you gay?
Me: Uhm... obviously.
Her: OMG yes! I always wanted to have a gay best friend!

So, shall we start?

I mean, come on! Is you for real?! Since when did I give you permission to trademark me as an object, as your little sidekick, as your accessory, the fairy godmother of your little rom-com-fantasy?  #FORREAL

It is really annoying to constantly deal with these type of girls — I know that a lot of them don't really mean it the way I perceive it. But simply the fact that people keep putting collars around gay peoples necks unknowingly as if we were their Chihuahua's gave me a reason to #educate you.

Every conversation starts the same when I meet girls who already heard my record from others without me knowing. It starts with "Omg I love your style!" and ends with "Let's be best friends forever!".  

While there might be a good intention behind it, it still stigmatizing and shows no real interest in their 'new best friend's' personality and individuality. Why do girls feel the need to even have a 'Gay best friend'? Is it because we are said to have good fashion sense, they need help in their quarter-life-crisis or is it because they think since we like boys we would be half girl inside and could understand them better? Since biological females are too close to the problem and seem to always judge and compete with each other. Well sorry, girl, but we are not here to play your personal assistant because we have our own s*** to handle. And we won't work under free conditions as your therapist anymore. We won't hold your own shopping bags, hold your hair when you had a little too many cosmos (even though you don't even like them) or massage your feet after you were kept on 'read' for the millionth time. So keep your heavy purse with whatever fantasy you are living in by yourself.

First of all, I have a name. I address you with yours so I expect you to address me correctly, too. Second, my sexuality does not define me as a person. Sexuality is something very intimate and private. It is important to express it but also to value it. It does not feel good to be put down or into boxes because of your sexuality. Our ancestors already did it for centuries and I think that it is time to cut the crap and see us all as equal individuals. And third, did u ever think about my choice? What if I never had the intention to be your friend? I mean I just met you?! And my mom taught me not to trust strangers.

But the biggest reason I think why girls want a 'gay best friend': Our confidence. Most of the gay guy's ooze confidence and go out there celebrating their body, mindset, and rights. They hope to channel this confidence if they only spend enough time with us. But there also a lot of people who live in a closet day for day. Scared that people would find out their secret. It takes time, patience, tears and lots of love to reach that state of confidence. With that said you too can reach that same state. Be yourself and own your body. Take the steering wheel into your own hands and steer the Titanic away from the iceberg.

So the last motherly advice I can give yall to avoid confrontations like this is to step your pussy up, grab a book about LGBTQ+ history, sip on some tea and watch a lot of gay dramas ;) Begin the sentence with "Hi I´m___ and you are?" and end it with "I hope we will get to know each other better".

Next time you'll approach me by asking me to be YOUR 'Gay best friend' be prepared to be put in your place. We may look angelic but if we snap hell is gonna break loose. Don't get me wrong this is not a hate rant, it simply is a guidance to be a better friend. You could also avoid these steps by treating us as equals and with what? R-E-S-P-E-C-T! And if you think that everything you do is perfect then good luck and THANK YOU NEXT!


Next up, Just Come The F*** Over And Say “Hi”