When Online Connections Meet Real Life: Key Safety Tips for Meeting an Online Friend In Person

Close friends are “essential to living a fulfilling life,” as indicated by 61% of U.S. adults who took part in a Pew Research Center survey. While many may meet their friends at school, work, or through other friends, however, online friendship has become a popular way for people to bond over similar interests and connect like never before. While these online connections can feel genuine already, a meet-up in person can strengthen the friendship in new ways. When an online connection provides the opportunity to meet up face to face, however, there are no shortage of considerations to keep in mind — particularly when it comes to safety.

A public meet-up is a must

An in-person meet-up with an online friend can sound convenient, though there are a variety of safety measures that should be taken beforehand. For starters, it’s incredibly important to plan a meet-up in a public space — a coffee shop, park, or restaurant are all great locations for a first introduction. Places that cater to a shared interest bring to light additional options, such as museums or bookstores. A public space will not only provide a casual and pressure-free environment where others are present in case anything goes awry, but is also more likely to be equipped with cameras for enhanced safety, too. 

Above all, a public meet-up will serve as a buffer in order to protect your personal information. If you’re in search of the perfect meet-up location locally, it’s crucial to pick a place that is far enough away from your neighborhood, home, or work — even if you feel you know your online friend well. If you’ve never video chatted, for example, you may not fully know what your online friend even looks like. In a worst-case scenario, you may find yourself catfished, which can present as a very dangerous situation.

Catfishing is an online technique where an individual utilizes false information (from gender to personality and images) in order to trick someone into the belief that they are another person. While a catfish can have a nefarious reason behind their false online persona (romance or financial scams, for example, are quite prevalent), there are a plethora of reasons why someone would pretend to be someone else online. One CNN Business article cites the Cybersmile Foundation, which notes that a lack of confidence is a common reason why people choose to catfish others, as a person may feel “happier” when they take on the persona of someone they are not. Even if the friendship appears to be genuine, however, it’s crucial to keep safety at the forefront of any meet-up.

Inviting a friend — and setting boundaries

In addition to the perfect meet-up location, it’s equally as important to inform a family member or friend of your plans to meet an online friend in-person for the first time. This includes the time and location where you plan to meet, and how long you expect to be out. If you’re nervous about the meet-up or simply wish for a bit of moral support, ask a friend or family member to accompany you — or invite others for a group hangout. In any case, the presence of others can be a great way to make a first-time meet-up less daunting, and can even help in the event that the person who you met online isn’t who they are in real life.

One HerCampus article explores several tips for those who wish to meet an online friend in real life. In addition to the basics like meeting in a public space and the value in a friend who can tag along, it’s advised to set some boundaries before the meet-up takes place. This includes the time frame that you plan to spend with your friend, and even what topics to discuss, recommends Jessica Alderson, the co-founder of So Syncd, a dating app. For example, you may let your online friend know that you’re not comfortable with the discussion of family matters or personal information, like where you live. You may also wish to determine the logistics — if the plans involve an event or restaurant, the cost involved and who will pay for what can be helpful to discuss beforehand. 

The considerations of an international journey

The internet is a fantastic place for people to connect and learn about other countries and their cultures, and friendships can often bloom out of these connections. Platforms like InstaCams provide the ideal opportunity to meet a random stranger online — in addition to the spontaneous nature of a random match via video chat, users benefit from features like real-time translation to ease the conversation. A plan to meet an online friend abroad, however, must involve a comprehensive plan and several safety precautions. 

In addition to the aforementioned tips, it’s important to familiarize yourself as much as possible with the local customs, language, geography, and culture. Essential phrases in the language and a local SIM card (for the sake of budget friendly internet connection) can further help in preparation for an international journey. Furthermore, a travel companion from home or one that is familiar with the area can prove to be paramount in regard to safety. This is primarily due to the fact that there is safety in numbers, and if you’re with someone who knows the area, you won’t be completely lost if the meet-up doesn’t go as planned. In any case, it’s important to exercise an abundance of caution when abroad — always stick to brightly lit public places, and consider topics (like the name of your hotel) private from your online friend.

For many adults, online friends provide a meaningful connection. If you decide to carry the online connection into real life, however, it’s crucial to take several safety precautions whether you plan to meet locally or abroad.