5 Ways to Improve Your Stale Dirty Talk

Light a major spark with the right words at the right time.


Do you remember that awkward moment when he said, “talk dirty to me,” and you said, well… you know what you said.

Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to everyone. In fact, some people are downright terrified of it. Others are comfortable with a few phrases and repeat them ad nauseam.

But if you want to spice up your love life, you can light a major spark with the right words at the right time. It’s time to get over your fear of getting out of your comfort zone. It’s time to improve that stale ol’ dirty talk. Are you ready?

Here are five tips to improve your dirty talking game.

1. Start with honesty

One of the greatest benefits of dirty talk is that you might actually improve communication about your wants and needs. No one wants to feel like a conductor in the bedroom, but you can get what you want without being bossy when you know how to use dirty talk.

And now seems like a good time for a gentle reminder that the honesty we’re looking for here is positive. Regardless of what terms you use or how descriptive you are, it’s not dirty talk if you’re telling your partner they’re doing it wrong.

Instead, try verbally reinforcing the things you’re partner is doing that feels good. And if you’re still struggling to find the words, read on for more tips on how to talk dirty.

Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech 

2.Avoid silliness

Even if you and your partner are the most hilarious people on the planet, the bedroom isn’t really the time or place for silliness. Avoid using silly or childish names or phrases.

If your partner has to stop and say, huh?, that’s going to put a damper on the romance. You should be yourself, for sure, but just keep it slightly on the serious side.

After all, what happens if you’re successful and you actually get your partner to crack up laughing? That’s not exactly a win in the dirty talk game.

A recent study found that one in five people admitted to stopping sex cold because of the dirty talk, so be sure to read your partner’s reactions before you go full throttle.

3. Control your volume

Dirty talk isn’t always so much about what you say. It’s definitely about how you say it. So if you want to master the art of talking dirty,  you may want to practice your throaty whisper.

Seriously, though, it’s a good idea to practice before you actually use this in person. You want to find a volume and style you’re comfortable with before you jump in with both feet. If you aren’t comfortable, it’s not going to go well.

4. Build up to something bigger

If you have a phrase or style you’re comfortable with, start with that. Let your partner know you’re digging what they’re doing and build up to some more advanced dirty talk. The key in all this is to make it feel comfortable and smooth.

We’re not in this for shock value. And in reality, that may have the opposite effect of what you’re after. If you don’t build-up to the dirty talk, especially if you’re new to this, you run the risk of shocking your partner right out of the mood.

5. Maintain confidence

Overthinking is always going to be a major obstacle any time you try to step out of your comfort zone. When you get too much into your own head, you’re stepping out of the moment. And that’s the enemy of dirty talk. It will only lead to self-doubt that will inevitably ruin the moment.

Go ahead and practice some phrases and make sure it feels comfortable before you try dirty talk on with your partner. And when it’s time, give in to the moment and try to let it flow. Remember that this isn’t a chore. Dirty talk can drastically improve your love life and sexual enjoyment. Think of it as a skill that can empower you in the bedroom.

And if you’re still having trouble feeling comfortable, check out this dirty talk guide for more tips and inspiration.

Maybe it sounds silly to think of dirty talk as a skill or a method of strengthening communication with your partner, but it really can help. During these intimate moments, you’re sharing a side of yourself that few have ever seen, and that’s pretty special.


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