Thinking About Divorce? Consider Discernment Counseling First

Understand what reasons brought your marriage in the current state


Divorce is a serious step in your life. It is going to bring significant changes to our lifestyle and private life. When some people file for divorce in Montana they don't understand the reality to the end. Sometimes you may decide to end your marriage just basing on how you are currently feeling but not on what it will bring to you. No one says that you cannot take your divorce docs back and change your mind in the middle of the process, but a sour taste of the attempt to get divorced will be present in your relationships.

There are multiple ways to handle your relationship problems but the only option which will give you the possibility to consider all the details with a cold head and take a considerate decision is discernment counseling. Through the set of its sessions, you will be able to understand what reasons brought your marriage in the current state, to make a choice whether it is worth to handle the challenges, and what do you really want to end up with. Being guided by professional discernment counseling will give you a clear picture of your marriage chances, build a bridge of understanding between partners and help to create plans for the nearest future most appropriate for your case.

Benefits of Discernment Counseling

Discernment Counseling

When one spouse comes up with legal divorce forms, it doesn’t mean that this is already the beginning of the end yet. There is still another spouse who might want to save the relationships and discernment counseling is the right way for him/her to do it.

The main privilege of discernment counseling over relationship coach sessions or marriage support services is that you are not dragged into an endless relationship problems discussion which will bring you nowhere. Instead of that, you are lead through strictly organized sessions which give you the following opportunities:

  • to decide if you want to deal with this marriage at all;
  • to understand clearly what has happened to your relationships and the role of each partner in it;
  • to set definite plans, depending on what you choose about the marriage;
  • to learn the mistakes for the next relationships, if you end up with marriage;
  • to organize co-parenting, if you have children.

These are only several points discernment counseling may grant you. The more you work and cooperate, the more you will get out of it to back up any of your decisions.

These are only several points discernment counseling may grant you. The more you work and cooperate, the more you will get out of it to back up any of your decisions.

Main Principles of Discernment Counseling

Discernment Counseling

Unique structure and principles of discernment counseling help couples who have even completed the divorce kit to work on their marriage issues and succeed, though they are never forced into it. Neatly organized process enables partners to come to conclusions in a very short time and avoid extra arguments and stress. This is all possible due to the following principles:

  • Limits on time, no limits on choice - the whole process is limited to a maximum of five sessions. At the end of every session, each partner has to summarize the session, personal feelings and make a decision whether to carry on or go to further steps with the divorce or marriage healing.
  • Clear structure - the sessions are usually 90 minutes long. They differ from couple therapy in a great way, since once session is not based on a discussion of definite marriage problems between partners. They start with opening time together to set the topic and give the specialist the general picture of the marriage. Then the couple proceeds with individual talks with a specialist so that each partner can dwell on his vision on the relationships and their future, without being intimidated or interrupted by another partner. The session ends up with a conclusion each partner and specialist give in the presence of everyone so that each spouse can realize what was worked out and what to do next.
  • Individual conversation - this part is the most important peculiarity of discernment counseling since it gives the opportunity to each spouse to dwell on a personal role in relationships problem, personal attitude, and future visions. Being gently guided by a specialist a person can clearly understand own inner feelings and real intentions on relationships.
  • Three paths - discernment counseling is created to bring up decisions, which will lead to a certain plan. This way you may end up with three possible scenarios: path 1 - leave the things as they are and continue with the marriage, path 2 - get divorced and path 3 - to postpone the divorce and get six-month healing therapy for the marriage to give it another chance.

If you choose path 1, you are left on your own to live the life that somehow suits you. When you pick out path 2, you will get your divorce goals organized and set clearly without many arguments. The specialist will give you tips on the best suitable divorce scenario and if you have children, your co-parenting plan will be settled perfectly within one session. Deciding on path 3 you prescribe yourself to a lot of work but a unique possibility to save your marriage at the same time. So, you will get a list of relationship problems and goals completed to work on within the next six months on couple therapy so that you will be able to reach the best possible results.

Discernment counseling is based on decision-making and clear realization of personal future intentions. It gives partners free space to make conclusions on their own, still, specialists guide the couple through the clearly structured process and make it all possible for them to end up with the best suitable decision and future well-planned ahead.