WTF Are #relationshipgoals Anyways?

See through the rose-colored filter


I love Instagram. In fact, I scroll so much I think I’ve given myself carpal tunnel. I’m not sure what people did before Insta allowed them to share their flat whites and avo smash. I bet you’re going to tell me people used to just talk about their breakfast in person. HAHA… yeah rightio! 

Insta has allowed a new level of connectively. It joins people from around the globe with mutual interests of fashion, music and açai bowls. But for all the good Insta has injected into the world, there is, of course, a downside. 

The darker side of Insta has been spoken about endlessly, with issues of narcissism and unreal beauty standards constantly being discussed. But I want to talk about one particular issue that has been on my mind. Or one particular hashtag to be more precise. 


You’ve seen this hashtag too I bet. It appears under those photos of beautiful unnaturally tanned couples. Those couples who always seem to be diving out of planes or baking in some tropical paradise. This hashtag’s popularity spikes of Valentine's Day. The comments underneath the red-lipped girl, holding roses reads #relationshipgoals. 

And don’t get me wrong, goals are great. They are an important part of a relationship to understand what you want and where you’re going. The problem with this hashtag is it implies a universal standard of a relationship. A standard that one must get to for their relationship to be valid. 

But the thing with #relationshipgoals is they don’t exist. Well, not in the way that Insta makes us believe. A relationship goal isn’t you and bae standing on the beach with a tan. It’s not about flowers, or blue boxed rings, or holidays. It's not the moment when you leap from a plane together.

#Relationshipgoals are like unicorns, they're not real. So, why should you even care?  The problem is, this hashtag often makes you think that there is something wrong with your own relationship. We assume we're missing something when really your relationship is fine. No, not fine, it's probably amazing.

And if you try and emulate these #relationshipgoals, you’ll just be walking further away from a great relationship. If you spend hours trying to capture a moment, the moment will be gone. #Relationshipgoals trade true magic for some comments and likes. 

Bae didn’t get you instagramable flowers? That's ok, he brings you a wheel of brie cheese and downloads RuPaul's Dragrace instead. You two aren't heading to the Maldives, all good girl, he made your favorite dinner last night.

Sharing moments are good. But assuming you need the same moments as some other couple is silly. Treasure your own moments and memories, and don't apply the Insta relationship cookie cutter to your life. It won't fit, and you shouldn't want it to.

 I say let's banish this hashtag for good  like we did to #covfefe and #dankmeme. And yes, keep sharing your moments, whether it’s breakfast or bae. Just remember there is not a standard you need to meet to be happy. Goals are good if they are good goals.