Inventive Ways To Celebrate Your Death In Style
You can only pick one.
2020 is proving to be the worst year on record since the beginning of time, and like millions of other people, I was trapped inside with too much time on my hands. As much as it sucked it did give me the perfect opportunity to plan all the major events in my future quarantine free life. These ranged from my stunning wedding to Timothee Chalamet, to my equally stunning funeral (Timothee will be devastated).
As the scouts say, it’s always good to be prepared and there’s nothing more pragmatic than planning your own funeral arrangements. But it’s 2020 and I can’t be the only one thinking that coffins are feeling a little out-dated. Why so beige? (I’ve never worn beige and I’m not about to sit in a beige box for the rest of eternity.)
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of the most inventive and creative things you can do with someone once they’ve checked out for good.
There’s a lot to be said about statement jewelry and an urn ring takes it to a whole new level. A portion of a loved one's ashes can be put inside a ring of your choice, and voila! You can carry them around with you wherever you go like a pet (you can also put pet ashes in there too I checked). There are loads of styles to choose from, just don’t lose it.
Shooting someone into space
Now I know you’re thinking that this may not so good for anyone who in life had a fear of flying. But you’ll be dead! It’s the perfect fit. You’ll be shot up in a spacecraft, orbit earth, and then be ejected into deep space. Think of the peace and quiet up there, utterly blissful. Except for when you bump into some debris or Susan from down the road.
Burial pod and memorial tree
Perhaps a more carbon-friendly option than being shot into space, perfect for anyone watching his or her carbon footprint in life and death. Your body or your ashes are put into a biodegradable pod that is then planted under a sapling. When the pod then disintegrates it provides nutrients for the tree above.
You have to be cremated first for this one otherwise I can imagine it being a bit traumatic for everyone involved. But just picture it, your family gathered around a fire with drinks in hand, toasting to your life and then bam; the sky explodes, full of your ashes in a colourful display. Sure it’s a little camp but it’s also fabulous.
Press someone into a vinyl record
You can have ashes pressed into a record of your choice, or made into your own original album. Just press me into WAP and be done with it.