How Your Smartphone is Ruining Your Relationship

Top Tips to Stop It.


Is your smartphone outsmarting your relationship? Sure, your cell or tablet may make it easier to keep up with friends and family or catch the latest meme on Instagram, but what good is it doing for your love life?

Research shows that social media addiction threatens real life communication. Social media lessens face to face interactions, even with your spouse!

The average person touches their phone between 2,617 (low end) to 5,427 (high end) each and every day and spends a whopping 5 hours browsing on smart devices.

With this outrageous number of interactions, it's no wonder that ignoring your partner in favor of your cell phone now has its own term - phubbing! This practice can lead to serious relationship issues that can be hard to come back from.

Don’t let your smartphone ruin your healthy relationship. Here are the telltale signs your phone is getting in the way of your love life and how to fix it.

1. Smartphones Ruin Communication

"I'm listening," you say to your spouse dismissively as they try to tell you a story.

"Really?" they respond, "Looks more like you're checking Facebook."

Does this scene sound familiar? If so, your phone use is definitely causing relationship issues in your life.

In a survey that polled 308 adults, more than 45% admit to feeling "phubbed" by their spouse. This phubbing leads to lower relationship satisfaction that can cause partners to feel bitter toward one another instead of loving.

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last decade, you know that communication is one of the most important aspects of a happy, healthy relationship. A lack of communication will be the downfall of your otherwise fantastic couple-ship.

The Solution: Talk about Valid Phone Use

Not everything that your smartphone does is going to cause relationship issues.

If your spouse is sensitive or insecure about you playing on your phone when they are around, talk about it together. Ask what they are and aren't comfortable with.

For example, if you're watching a movie together but glued to your cellphone, this is naturally going to be distracting and irritating for your spouse. But, if you're watching a throwaway show (READ: reality shows) or a YouTube video together, will it still bother them if you aren't as invested?

It's also smart to talk about valid cell phone use. Smart devices can be incredibly helpful in keeping in contact with family members or catching up with work.

As always, you must be able to communicate with your spouse in order to create boundaries that you're both happy with.

2. No Quality Time Together

Studies show that couples are happier when they view each other as their best friend. Research also indicates that couples spending quality time together experience an increase in happiness and a significant decrease in stress.

Needless to say, the more time you are spending on your phone the less time and undivided attention you are devoting to your spouse.

Baylor University found that cell phone addiction can cause depression and mental health issues. This depression can seep into other aspects of your life and can make your relationship feel more like a prison than a haven.

The Solution: Schedule a Weekly Date Night

Not getting enough quality time with your spouse? Try scheduling (and sticking to) a weekly date night.

Choose fun activities to do with your spouse that will give you the chance to let loose, have fun, get frisky, or relax together.

Studies show that a regular date night can help boost romantic love, or eros, that is commonly linked to the type of excitement and sexual passion you feel at the beginning of a new relationship.

Studies show that couples who have regular dates are also less likely to get divorced, experience a boost in communication, and are more sexually satisfied in their marriage.

3. Cell Phones Squash Romance

There are many reasons why couples should stay busy in the bedroom. Not only is sex fun, but it also strengthens your emotional connection to your spouse.

The oxytocin released during intimacy (such as sex, cuddling, or holding hands) has been shown to increase trust between partners, promote bonding, and heighten emotional intimacy.

There are plenty of benefits to getting kinky with your partner, but the sad truth is that your cell phone might be getting in the way of having a satisfying romantic life. How?

Studies show that 1 in 10 couples admit to checking their phones during sex. Unless you are checking the internet for a hot new sex position to try with your partner, getting busy is not the time to be looking at your phone!

The Solution: Schedule in Tech-Free Time

If your smartphone is causing relationship issues, things don’t have to stay that way. There are plenty of simple and effective ways to fix your love life.

One great idea to restore your healthy relationship to where it once was is to create a time where both you and your spouse put your phones away.

In fact, avoid all tech during this time.

For example, after you both get home from work, institute some tech-free time. Put your phones on silent and don't turn on the TV. Instead, sit down and actually have dinner together!

Not only will this ensure you're getting some quality time, but it's also an opportunity to communicate without any distractions.

Smartphones make your everyday life easier, but that doesn't mean they are good for your relationship. Avoid putting your spouse on the backburner and you'll steer clear of relationship issues. Maintain a healthy relationship by spending quality time with your lover, creating tech-free times, and communicating like there is no tomorrow.


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