3 Rules To Stop Giving So Many Fucks
Quit giving time and attention to people and things that don't actually matter.
A lot of people say the key to confidence and success in life is to “stop giving a fuck.” Although this may sound contradictory initially, think about: We often save our highest admiration and praise for those with a lack of fucks given. Like, “Did you hear Sara got up and ended her date with Daniel after 30 minutes? She said she couldn’t stand to laugh at his shitty jokes anymore. She seriously gives no fucks.” Or, “Did you know Tom called his boss an asshole but still got a pay raise? Man, that guy does not give a fuck.”
Chances are, at one point in your life, you knew someone who did not give a fuck and went on to reach some extraordinary heights. Maybe there was even a time in your own life where you seriously didn’t give a fuck and reaped some major benefits.
But while it may seem simple on the surface, not giving a fuck is a tangled web of fuckery.
Throughout our lives, most of us struggle giving fucks where fucks do not need to be given. We read, re-read and read again an email before we hit send, scouring the letters for errors that would somehow impart to the destined reader that we don’t have a basic grasp of grammar. We’re upset when our co-worker doesn't invite us to their party over the weekend. We meet someone for a coffee when we’d rather sit at home for the sole purpose of being perceived as "friendly." We're personally offended when the convenient store attendant is rude to us when we purchase a candy bar.
Fucks are given all day every day. But why? For what reason?
That is the exact problem, everyone.
We spend too much time caring about people we don’t like and doing things we don’t actually want to do.
But we need to chill.
Developing the ability to control our fucks is the essence of strength. And not giving a fuck is actually a learned art. We must craft and hone it. We must stop getting sucked into life’s trivialities and unimportant dramas. We must ignore side notes and distractions to focus on what actually matters.
So, here, we show you how to stop fucking around.
1. Understand not giving a fuck does not mean being totally indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.
When most people imagine not giving a fuck, they think of a serene indifference that is calm throughout a tsunami.
This is wrong. Not giving a fuck does not translate into being apathetic. Do not say, “Fuck it” to everything in life. Just say, “Fuck it” to everything unimportant.
2. Everyone has a limited number of fucks to give, choose carefully.
The problem with caring about every single little thing is that you eventually run out of energy to focus on what’s actually important, i.e., Friends. Family. Dogs. Sneakers. Pizza.
Discriminate where your fucks go. Chances are, you don’t have that many things in your life that you should give a fuck about. Look at a situation and think, “Is this actually important? Will this one thing affect the trajectory of my future?” If the answer is no, you probably shouldn't give a fuck.
3. Catch yourself in the moment
As much as you try, won’t always be able to consciously choose where your fucks go. You’ll slip up and suddenly start caring way too much about your ex’s new profile pic. The key is to catch yourself in the act of giving too many fucks. It doesn’t matter if you’re at work, and you catch yourself concerned that your co-worker is secretly pissed at you. Or, if you want to ask someone out and realize you’re over-analyzing what you should say. Whatever the situation, follow these three steps:
- Catch yourself: The most important step is to understand what you’re doing. You’re giving a fuck about what others think or are caring too much about something that doesn’t really matter in the long run.
- Accept it. The most natural human instinct is to lie and tell ourselves what we’re doing is fine. DON’T do this.
- Let it go. It doesn’t matter exactly WHY you’re giving a fuck. The important part is to consciously let whatever you're giving a fuck about go. Deep breaths, everybody