How To Compliment Someone Without Talking About Their Appearance
Telling us we're pretty is getting old.
The narcissist in all of us loves to be told that we’re good looking and whilst this compliment may come from the best of intentions, it also emphasises that our looks are the most interesting and most important part about us. That’s a pretty damaging narrative and it’s no wonder that most of us are plagued with insecurities.
As body positivity and neutrality as taught us, if all we ever get told is that we look nice or that we’ve lost weight, we begin to think of that as our only value. If we perhaps don’t wear makeup one day or put on weight, we feel like we lose a part of ourselves and often feel pretty low about it. But our appearance is not who we are.
This is super important in the coming months where there’s a lot of pressure to maintain our bodies when tempted with Christmas treats (what a load of sh*t). But anyway, the classic ‘I’ve got to lose those Christmas pounds’ and ‘are you really going to eat all of that?’ toxic narrative is going to come out again. We need to be conscious of our language because our words do have power! This is especially true when speaking to your friends / family with eating disorders.
There are a million different ways to compliment someone without mentioning their appearance. Not only are those compliments more creative and heartfelt, they also help to teach each other that beauty isn’t our sole purpose in life.
After all, come on girls, we can do much better than just acting pretty!
Here are some compliments to use instead…
1. I love how passionate you are about ____. It’s a great feeling when people appreciate how much you care or love something. Our passions are what makes life meaningful so when someone notices something that drives you or makes your eyes light up, it’s a joyous feeling and it makes you feel truly seen.
2. I feel happy when I’m around you. What a lovely sentence to hear, knowing you bring a little bit of happiness into this crazy world.
3. You inspire me because ____. We all want to change the world, and knowing that you inspire someone, even just one person, makes you feel like you’ve done just that.
4. I like your style. This is a way to compliment someones appearance without the negative repercussions. Knowing you’ve made a good style choice makes you feel 10x more confident.
5. I admire how you conducted yourself in that situation. Whether it be in a work meeting, a friendship fall out or some sort of confrontation, it’s important to let people know that you recognise their efforts and behaviour.
Try using our compliments and see what a difference it makes. The receiver is bound to shine brighter than ever and you’ll feel fabulous for showing them why.