How Sexual Vulnerability Can Actually Be A Positive Thing

Often times vulnerability is something we shy away from even though we come across it in many instances in our lives. We fight against the current because being vulnerable feels too tender, too raw, for our liking. We don’t want to come across as “weak”, so we decide to hide our true emotions.

How many times have we witnessed people avoid moments of vulnerability in fear of what others might think, in fear of showing a side of them that they would prefer to hide, and in fear of being rejected? How many times has that person been YOU?

Explaining sexual vulnerability

Few things ring true to this than sexual vulnerability. The ironic thing is that sex, by nature, is a vulnerable act. You are essentially laying yourself bare to another individual. You are going into an agreement to share each other’s deepest desires, to be seen naked, to be loved, wanted and fulfilled.

A lot of women share grievances over the fact that their male partners tend to only show emotion during or after sex. But that’s not always something to lament. Sex is meant to encourage people to be more sexually vulnerable. Our society likes to tell men that being vulnerable is weak, but sex is often reserved as a safe space for them. Not all men know how to express their emotions, but sex might be the catalyst to learning how to.

On the other hand, women might often forget to let their emotions be known because they’re too busy taking care of everyone else in their life. They keep the attention off of themselves but under all those layers lies a person who wants to be doted on, to feel special and loved.

In what ways does sex make us vulnerable?

If you find yourself feeling emotional during sex it’s often because you are finally allowing yourself an intimate space where you can genuinely feel all the things that you otherwise ignore.

You might feel sadness for all the things you’ve desired but never got, for all those years you missed out on living life, for the person who you wish you were enjoying this moment with instead. Or you might feel joy for having this moment of love and tenderness. Perhaps you might experience anger and disgust due to past sexual trauma, or because of a sense of detachment between yourself and them. That you’re actually scared of sharing yourself like this.

Regardless of what it is you feel, sex is a deeply vulnerable act which is part of the reason why we desire it so much. In that moment you feel such rawness and sensitivity that you want more of it knowing that outside of this space lies a bunch of rules and stigma around outward emotion.

We learn things during sex about ourselves and our partner in ways that we might not outside of it. That in itself can be highly addictive and positive.

Embrace your sexual vulnerability.

Instead of avoiding the topic of sexual vulnerability, imagine the level of empowerment if you just acknowledged it and accepted that it is there to be enjoyed and embraced. Having great sex while avoiding sexual vulnerability is almost impossible. The two go together like butter and toast.

Aside from emotional vulnerability, when you experience pain during sex, do not be afraid to tell your partner about this because you can look for solutions together. One of the solutions is the performance of dilator therapy. Physical therapists often recommend this to help with pelvic floor and sexual health concerns. Using the right silicone vaginal dilators can help relieve pelvic muscle strain and other issues that might lead to sex pain or discomfort.

Letting yourself be seen intimately and accepting your partner in their own intimacy is the key to both of you enjoying yourselves. Imagine a sexual experience where you feel comfortable in each other’s company. You won’t ever want to have it any other way.

Life is not meant to be lived half-heartedly. We shouldn’t have to live in constant ignorance about the intricacy of our emotional landscape. Of course, exercise common sense and avoid making yourself vulnerable in situations where it’s foolish to do so. Take care of yourself and understand when, where and with whom you should show that side of you.

But there ARE people out there who will accept your sexual vulnerability and match it too. It’s just a case of being open-minded, finding it and embracing all of its wonders.

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