Meghan Markle Incited A #MeToo Moment For Miscarriages
“I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”
On November 25 the Duchess of Sussex revealed in a poignant open letter, published in the New York Times that she and her husband had suffered a miscarriage July this year.
It was a shocking, heartbreaking and revealing account about miscarriages that stood in stark contrast to the usual culture of silence that surrounds the topic.
Meghan’s essay, in a #MeToo like manner, inspired a wave of other women to come forward in that last few days. Journalist Anne-Marie Tomchak even called it a turning point in how we talk about miscarriages.
Meghan phrased it perfectly in her letter: “In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
About one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. However, most couples, or single parents wait until the first trimester has passed, to announce their pregnancies. This is, unfortunately, is where most miscarriages happen, which leads to an unbearable pain, that although felt by many, staying unmentioned and being lived out in silence.
The stigma that surrounds miscarriages is mostly due to the antiquated cultural belief that every women wants a baby and is able to carry one, as well as the notion that it is somehow shameful to talk about sexual health. It is also deeply rooted in the way we talk about pregnancies. Miscarriages are rarely, if ever, mentioned in conversations, due to a culture that has a deep aversion to loss, sadness, pain and hardship. Therefore, we have erased miscarriages from our pregnancy dictionary and are only truly reminded of their existence when they happen.
Nonetheless, what we as women go through is not something that should make us feel isolated and divided. Sharing our pain has the potential to unite our voices so we can collectively cut through the stigma and silence that surround the topic.
If this year has done anything, it has reminded us of the fragility of life, the pervasiveness of loss, and the value of family and community. The personal and collective trauma we endured in the past few months might be the greatest commonality between us. Meghan’s letter is an open call to let the silence around miscarriages, but also all our personal hardships over the last few months fade, to let the conversations and healing process start.
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