Relationship advice 2

Top 3 Couples Arguments - And How To Never Have Them Again!

POSTEDBYKIRSTI ALEXANDRA REID

Whether you’ve been dating for six months or three years, you’ve probably noticed that you and bae tend to have the same arguments. Guess what, you’re not alone! There tends to be a pattern in many relationships, where the core reasons for arguments can be boiled down into three distinctive topics (not scientifically proven, do not quote in a court of relationship law.) This happens because on the whole, men’s brains do not work the same way as a woman’s. Where you might think he hasn’t done the dishes because he knows you’ll do them eventually, meaning he takes you for granted, doesn’t care about the relationship and now you must break up, he probably just hasn’t got round to doing them. Yes, it’s really that simple. It’s a cliché to assume women over think things and tend to be a little, dare I say it, sensitive but this can be more true than you think. 

To save you from argument hell (because let’s face it, as dramatically wonderful as making a scene can be, it’s just not healthy to have the same arguments over and over again), we’ve compiled the top three things that couples argue about and how to get past them once and for all. 

 

Jealousy

Numero uno has got to be jealousy. This green eyed goblin can pop up at the most unexpected of times and more than that, she wears multiple disguises. You might not even know that you’re fighting about jealousy when you’re in the fight. This is because admitting you’re jealous as a girl is unfortunately synonymous with admitting you’re a crazy eyed, irrational jealous bitch, whilst for a guy it’s a sign of weakness. Oh, but how wrong we can be! Let’s set the scene. You and your S.O are in a bar. It’s date night, but you’ve both got chatting to the couple sitting next to you. Out of the corner of your eye (ok, you’re blatantly staring at them) are two overtly single girls sitting in front of you all. They’re blonde and skinny and uber American! Bae starts to tune out of the conversation and the next thing you know he’s talking to the sluts. One of them is trying on his glasses, what the hell is going on?! You’re trying to hold the conversation with the couple but are so distracted by what’s going on in front of you. 

Do you a) Immediately stop the conversation and march over to accost your bf, demanding to know who the hell these girls think they are

 b) Say nothing, you know in your heart it’s totally innocent, you go over and introduce yourself

c) Go and get another drink and calmly discuss it soberly the next day

The answer is always c! Answer a) will cause a scene and ruin both of your nights whilst although b) is accurate, chances are you won’t be able to compose yourself or it’ll eat you up inside. Women need to get things off their chest, otherwise it builds up. A certain amount of jealousy is healthy; it means you care about the other person, but addressing it the right way is key. Of course, if you are generally a very jealous person, try doing a bit of soul searching, it often points to insecurity and maybe there are some issues you need to deal with so you don’t bring baggage into your relationship. 

Housework

Two couples fighting over the housework is so over played. But oh so true. You find yourself doing the washing for two, the vacuuming, the bathroom cleaning, the dog walking, the cooking, everything. But he complains when he has to do the dishes twice in a row because it’s “your turn.” Try to be patient with bae. It’s not his fault. If he only sees the floor when it’s clean, he’s going to presume it never really gets dirty. No, seriously. Same goes for the bathroom. He doesn’t see the specks of black hair all over the pure white sink because you always clean them up. It’s not his fault. He doesn’t understand that you can’t sleep at night thinking about all the things you need to clean before you can even start your day, it’s not remotely on his radar, nor does he even realize it’s a problem. Instead of letting go of all your pent up rage one day when he simply asks you to pass the remote (yet another thing you have to do for him!), keep chores for when you’re both together. Ask him to help you clean up on the weekend, and he’ll soon realize just how much work is involved. Also, don’t be afraid to make it easy for him, like leaving a cloth underneath the sink for easy access to mop up fallen beard hair. FYI hairy men shed more than dogs and women put together! Fact!

Past relationships

Ooh this is a touchy one! Basically there are two teepees of thought: the first is that when you’ve broken up with your ex, that’s it, adios, even if it was amicable. The second is that just because you broke up, doesn’t mean you have to lose a friend too. Both are fine, except when it comes to your new relationship. No matter how secure you are with your partner, a lingering ex is never a good sign. If you like to stay friends with your ex’s, fair enough, but catching up together alone should be a big no no. Avoid this argument (this goes for you too boys) by creating distance between you and your ex and never ever allow yourself to be succumbed to a text flirt or fight with them. If you can’t help yourself, don’t be in a new relationship, you’re not ready. Dredging up old arguments will only make your new beau wonder why you’re still hurt by the drama of the past. 

There you have it, three fight topics that are completely avoidable through simple communication. Don’t forget, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and we think differently therefore our communication lines need to reflect this. Ultimately, the idea is to fight better, not less. Fighting better means having a constructive discussion so you can understand how each of you feels in certain situations. So next time you feel your blood boiling, leave the boxing gloves behind and sit together on your DIY couple’s therapy seat instead. 

 

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