All right, wild lovers; it’s time to open a new box of condoms and dry them up. Are you a closeted cheater seeking adventure, variety or love, perhaps? Or are you in a so-called ‘open relationship’? No matter what the answer is, the truth remains: monogamy isn’t for everyone. Now, that being said, some people accept this fact. They either go through life bed hopping like horny kangaroos, or they pair up with like-minded lovers. This is where having an open relationship comes into #foreplay.
Well, first, an open relationship is a serious committed relationship in which both partners agree to have non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships outside their partnership. In other words, they agree to hook-up, and even date others with their partner’s permission and consent. So, yes, they both must know about each other’s sexual activities. In some cases, partners bring in a third party- or more- to join in the fuck-fest, turning their love nest into a swingers #VIP club.
How do people withstand such lifestyle?
For one, of course, jealousy is a deal-breaker. If one – or both partners – are psychotic nymphomaniacs, they’ll make the Breaking News and will be the main story of Who the Bleep Did I Marry? or Snapped. And no, more than likely they won’t be alive to enjoy their primetime television debut. So, bottom line, if it’s not a two-way street, it’s cheating. Secondly- and more importantly- honesty is a MUST. There are no boundaries, no secrets, and no closing-the-bathroom-door-at-anytime unless the counterpart can’t stomach the partner’s intestinal issues. Now, there are boundaries outside the relationship and they’re both discussed and agreed on.
There are many reasons why people choose to share their overly worked private parts outside their relationship. Mainly, these partners are, well, monogamish, meaning they don’t believe monogamy is humanly possible, even though they’re in love. So, it’s not practical to be trapped into a loving lockdown, instead of simply being free, confident and comfortable showing endless love. Others believe love isn’t real, so there’s no need to be monogamous. They become steady as fuck buddies, without heartstrings attached. And others are simply polyamorous; their love is so immense, they must share it with other people.
For it to work successfully partners must feel compersion: the opposite of jealousy. Let’s use that in a sentence or two: “Joe felt #compersion when his girlfriend Jane, told him about the awesome one night stand she had two nights ago with their best friend, John. He was stoked for her!” See? No need to go Cray Cray and slash John’s tires.
After all, we’ve made believe this Disney-fairy-tale romantic idea that all our happiness and pleasure should come exclusively from one single partner; everyone else if off limits. Turns out, having separate sexual and love experiences may actually strengthen the relationship. But, this can also be messy-tricky even. What if there’s an end to the openness in sight? Ironically, it may mean the end of the relationship, period. It could be worse: bored, unhappy and neglected hitched-halves may resort to Ashley Madison or Tinder for a sexcapade and cheat.
Dr. Chris Donaghue says in his piece Cheating; An Expected Stage of Relationship “Cheating is an expected state of every relationship. It’s not ‘if,’ but ‘when.’ ‘Cheating’ needs to be downgraded from a relational act of emotional violence to one form of many relational injuries to be expected from well-meaning flawed humans. […] Cheating doesn’t injure. How cheating is conceptualized and dealt with, does.”
Compersion or jealousy? That all depends on what side of the bed you sleep in. Bottom line, whatever you choose, make sure no-one gets hurt. Broken hearts are hard to mend. In the meantime, enjoy this slideshow: Meet The Celebrities Who Believe In Open Marriages