The HOTTEST Vibrator Right Now – Tried And Tested

I was first introduced to the Womanizer when scrolling through Instagram. “It’s FINALLY here!”, the blogger exclaimed on her live story, as she removed the item from the box and ceremoniously displayed it to the camera. It was new, it was shiny and it looked like a bristle-less Tangle Teezer with a weird nozzle that reminded me of the Zizzle iZ, the weird electronic sound toy released in the noughties. Sweet.

I continued my research, and it didn’t take long to work out that everybody is talking about the Womanizer. And if they’re not, they’re secretly wishing they had one as they watch Instagram bloggers hype them up them in a frenzy of post-orgasm excitement. They’re the best-seller across most sex toy sites and constantly hitting the shelves in new colours and prints. In fact, they’re now so popular that they’re also available in a handy-dandy, office bathroom-ready 'Lipstick Clitoral Stimulator' design. That’s right, even Susan from finance is sorted. 

So, how exactly does the womanizer and that weird little nozzle work? 

According to sex e-shop Amorelie, the Womanizer is designed to provide an “all-round pampering programme” through “contactless stimulation of the clitoris”. Futuristic. And as Amorelie’s helpful diagrams show, you simply place the iZ speaker on your clitoris and select one of its eight settings (from “super-soft mode” to “super-power mode”), and away you go. The product reviews? A strong 4.81/5, with almost all of the negative comments just describing it as “too intense.” With a mix of sexual curiosity and noughties’ audio-toy nostalgia, I decided to try it out. 

After getting hold of my very own Womanizer Pro, I got unboxing. The design is pretty clean and non-flash, which is high praise in a market that boasts fleshlights in a beer can (seriously, Google it). The only criticism I have beyond the unavoidable iZ beak, is the swarovski on-button which has similar vibes to your mom’s mate's sequin lounge cushions. On the other hand, the non-phallic design is pretty refreshing: a departure from a world of rainbow silicon dicks. I charged it up and enjoyed the unexpected green light show simultaneously emitted from the iZ snout – the Womanizer was fired up and ready. 

With a quick test on the back of my hand, it was soon pretty clear that the Womanizer’s dramatic eighth intensity setting might not be that necessary unless you’re a) trying to start a microseism or b) REALLY ready for the big guns.

With a vague glance at the instructions, I decided that my conclusive pre-use research was complete. It was time to put the musical Tangle Teezer-iZ hybrid to the test. 

The Verdict? 

Great. 

But different. 

The intense and precise stimulation made for a feeling that I really can’t say is comparable to anything else. But then again, you weren’t expecting the iZ to provide an easily comparable sexual experience, were you? Ultimately, the precision is bordering on paralyzing and that concentrated pleasure meant that my whole body was left tingling for a while afterwards. Those eight different intensity settings mean that your weeknight trip to sexual nirvana could be pretty quick. But the final confirmation you needed before clicking ‘add to basket’: Yes, you definitely will get there. 

In terms of the price, the Womanizer retails at around $220, which isn’t bad all considering the amount of bang for ya buck. And in terms of aftercare, well, the slightly-more-complicated-than-a-normal-vibrator cleaning process was a bit annoying, adding a tedious instruction-led, three-stage chore to an otherwise joyous occasion. But that's just life. And this probably isn't the right place to complain about cleaning anyway. 

All in all, the hottest sex toy right now is conclusively different to anything else. But this is 2017, and futuristic, no-bullshit, straight to the pearl treatment is here. And thankfully, it’s not going anywhere.