Why Is He Still Using Tinder After Our Dirty Weekend Together?

When it comes to dating, it’s a lot more complicated than it was in a pre-digital era. By today's standards, there are many more ways to meet lover boy than by simply chatting him up in a bar. Dating sites and apps have become more mainstream than ever but what happens to all those accounts when you enter into a relationship and when exactly is the right time to press the delete button?

In times long gone, date number three was a rather serious place and probably signaled marriage but dating is very casual now and a third date is not necessarily evidence he’s into you. Even if you’ve spent a long weekend together under the sheets, barely coming up for air, it doesn’t mean he or she is ready to be slapped with a monogamous label. While it’s probably a good idea to be on the same page before slipping under the sheets together, we understand the moment doesn’t always lend itself to that kind of deep conversation. 

If you’re concerned your lover still has a Tinder account even though you aren’t official yet, you have every reason to be hearing alarm bells rather than wedding bells. If he hasn’t hit that delete button yet, it could be innocent enough but the reality is that Tinder is a dating app and one that is renowned for being used for hookups rather than long term relationships. If he’s still interested in keeping his account active, it’s probably a sign that he doesn’t want to be monogamous or start an official relationship with you, even worse if he’s very secretive with his phone. 

The only way to know for sure is to ask him. Nobody enjoys having that clichéd convo, “where is this going?” but there are ways to play it smart, avoid the awkward talk and still get results. Few people expect a serious conversation in a public place so invite him out for an after-work drink in your favorite swanky bar. Obviously be sure to look your slick self as you throw into the conversation as casually as you can muster, “funny story, my friend matched you on Tinder the other day, weird huh?!” Sip your drink without breaking eye contact and with all the confidence of Bella Hadid. You’re certain to catch him off guard, you won’t come off clingy but he’ll also know you mean business. Take his answer as gospel and either set the monogamous record straight or excuse yourself early. 

Seriously though, your E.D.D (Estimated Deletion Date) really depends on the individual relationship but ultimately it should just happen naturally, if you both want the same things. Bear in mind that although it may have taken you only three dates to decide you want to continue dating them, it may take the other person a little longer. None of us are mind readers in the battlefield that is dating so don’t forget communication is always key. If things are going well with your new love interest, there’s no real reason for either of you to be on Tinder unless one of you intends to fuck around. Come on, it takes two seconds to delete it from your phone and your account is saved for all eternity through your username and password anyway. You might be patting yourself on the back for not deleting those apps if things don’t work out with Hotbabe121 but little do you realize you could have sabotaged the relationship from the start if you’re still looking elsewhere for a little extra sugar. 

Will officially deleting your Tinder account be the new exchanging of rings in the future? Perhaps instead of sealing the marriage ceremony with a kiss you’ll swap phones with your groom and delete each other's accounts but until then, better to delete before it’s too late.     

Next up, How Your Smartphone is Ruining Your Relationship