Here's Everything You Need To Know About Anal Play
Yep, we went there.
It's safe to say that in the Instagram age, we are utterly BUMbarded. Ass selfies are giving the standard selfie a serious run for their money, to the point that we might as well all just have gigantic peachy butts instead of actual faces. Then again, if we had butts for faces, we would literally be talking out of our assholes – and nobody likes assholes quite as much, do they? We digress. Our point is, that considering how obsessed we are with bums, many of us are still incredibly squeamish about the anus – especially when it comes to sex.
Of course, there are two good reasons for this: potential pain and, well, poop. But, with the right approach to anal play, neither of these have to be a concern, and the pleasure payoff can be pretty awesome. So if you're feeling a little curious and you fancy giving it a go – either as the giver or the receiver – here's everything you need to know to get the most out of anal play.
Lube is essential
Before you embark on your maiden voyage to uranus, you should make a stop at your local drugstore or sex shop and pick up some lube. Lube is an absolute essential when it comes to all things ass-related, as it prevents pain or tearing, eases you into the act and generally feels good. Silicone lubes like Back Door (lol) or oil-based lubes like Doc Johnson are easiest for anal as they stay on longer than water-based types. And be liberal – you can never have too much lube.
Lather it up
We're not your mom or anything, but just as you can never have too much lube, you can never be too clean for anal play, especially if you're planning on getting fingers or a tongue involved. There's no need to faff around too much; just make sure you trim away any hair and have a really good thorough shower. Get that lather going and ensure you're as clean and fresh as possible – not just for your partner's sake but so you can relax during the act knowing that they're definitely not going to taste anything...err...off. Pro tip: it might be a good idea to poop before you shower to ensure you don't have any issues mid-sesh. And if you want any extra hygiene assurances, try using a super-simple anal wash like this one.
There are tons of nerve endings around the anus, most of which are concentrated around the opening and just inside the rectum, which means stroking and licking can feel really good – as long as you're not feeling inhibited in any way. The area is so erogenous that some people can even orgasm through anal stimulation alone! Don't go straight into ass play, rather work up to it to make sure that you're sufficiently aroused. Then stroke around the opening with a lubricated finger and see what feels good. Combining anal stimulation with clitoral, vaginal or penis stimulation can make for an explosive orgasm.
Do some salad tossing
No, we're not suggesting you take a quick break to prepare a chicken caesar, we're talking about the rimjob. If you're feeling it, getting a tongue involved can also feel extremely pleasurable. The giver should make sure their tongue is soft and flat, rather than pointed, and do long slow licks from the perineum to the top of the butt. There's no need to spell the alphabet or anything or turn your tongue into a high-speed washing machine, just make sure you check in with the receiver to see if everything's feeling good. The key to pleasure here is relaxation. Also, we hate to lower the tone but for heaven's sake, do not forget about your sexual health – you can catch STDs from rimming so if you and your partner haven't had a recent check up, use a flavored dental dam as a barrier.
If you're game for some penetration, working the butt up to a penis or a dildo takes a little diligence, so starting with smaller sex toys is a good way to ease yourself in. Butt plugs may sound completely fucked up – like some kind of strange device for stopping an endless stream of liquid (sorry) – but they're actually pretty cool. Not only can the butt plug stimulate all those nice nerve endings but they are the perfect tool to prepare the rectum for anal penetration. They're also right at home in BDSM play. You can start with petite plugs like this Itty Bitty one until you feel comfortable moving up to larger sizes, and, if you so desire, eventually a dildo or a penis. This four-piece beginners' set, including a variation of sizes – and even vibrations – is ideal.
Although porn is pure fantasy and not always an accurate depiction of sex, it doesn't hurt to get a little inspiration and discover some anal sex positions you may not have thought about before. Use anal porn as part of your foreplay and you're sure to get heated up for the IRL action.
Take it slow
Slow the fuck down – or tell your partner to slow the fuck down. The anus should be treated with the utmost respect, which means working up the movement slowly and cautiously until the anal muscles relax and become more receptive to penetration. It's best to start with a toy or a finger before going straight in with a penis or a dildo, and whatever you do, do not forget that lube (and a condom). Take each other's cues on how it's feeling all the way through. When done right, anal play isn't painful, but if it does hurt, don't feel any pressure to go on. Perhaps go back to using fingers instead. Contrary to popular belief, it's the receiver who should be in control and directing the level of intensity and penetration.
Keep an open mind
A final word of advice: Keep an open mind! Don't be afraid to explore. Straight guys especially tend to get a little sensitive about the idea of being a receiver, but by sticking by these preconceptions, many of them are missing out on a really pleasurable experience. If you think your guy might be interested in trying something new, let him know there's absolutely no shame. It's all about what feels good – and since the male G-spot is all up in there, it most likely will. Getting a sex toy involved does not make him gay, if that's what he's afraid of (jeez). Pegging is nothing new, and it's the perfect way to change up the power dynamics in the bedroom.
Now, check out our extensive selection of female-friendly porn sites.