How To Perform A Non-Awkward Striptease
Get it, girl.
They say that every girl has that one song that turns her into a naughty stripper. Maybe. I mean, isn't that the best bit about being home alone? Wild, naked mirror freestyles to your favorite tunes, with no-one to judge your “extremely creative” moves but you. But what if the nearest you've ever got to sexily removing your clothes for a man is sexting some incredibly descriptive lines about “slowly slipping off my clothes” whilst IRL you were actually just kicking back on the sofa in your jammies with a nice cup of chamomile tea?
You want to have the confidence to act out your inner vixen – perhaps you've just broken your piggy bank for a luxurious new lingerie set which makes you feel like a million dollars. You're toying with the idea of treating your man to a front row seat in an episode of the “you” show he's only ever caught the trailer for before. But where to begin? After all, we mere mortals can't just put on a pair of satin gloves and go from zero to Dita Von Teese in ten seconds – right?
You don't need to train as a burlesque dancer or learn how to work the pole to put on a hot show; the top secret to a good striptease is preparation. Basically, actually try to know what da fuq you're going to do before you start ripping off clothes willy-nilly to Sisqó's 'Thong Song.' Just follow these fail-safe steps and prepare for your guy's jaw to meet the floor.
Set the stage
You might only be working with your tiny box bedroom, but wherever you plan on performing your striptease, you have to re-approach the space as your personal stage. Lighting is incredibly important; you might feel pretty exposed doing your thang in broad daylight, or under the intense glare of artificial lighting. If you don't have a dimmer switch, light a bunch of candles – maybe even some heady incense – and the room will already begin to transform into a sensual sex den.
It goes without saying that you should move all of your unnecessary junk out of the way (at least under the bed with all the secret vibrators you've been stockpiling) and arrange the furniture so that you're not going to trip over anything as you're pulling off your stockings.
Music is essential. Choose a simple three-minute-long song that you know you'll enjoy dancing to (and he'll enjoy listening to) and be sure to check the lyrics – the last thing you want is to be unwittingly stripping to a break-up song. #MoodKiller.
Make a plan
Think about how you'd like to approach the tease. Do you have any choreo? Perhaps you'd feel more confident playing a character. It always helps to have some structure to your performance so that you can feel self-assured and ride the sexy vibe all the way through till the end. Have you always dreamed about being more flirty and assertive? Then create your persona and have fun with it – a cheeky shot beforehand is most definitely allowed.
Dress the part
Less is more. Do not – I repeat, do not – wear jeans or too many layers of awkward-to-remove clothing. It's essential that you feel comfortable and confident in what you're wearing. Put on your sexiest lingerie with a couple of easy-to-remove layers on top – a few small layers, slowly and deliberately removed, can work your partner into a sexual frenzy. Long satin gloves on an outstretched hand, removed theatrically finger by finger, are going to be a winner. Wear clothes that feel good to touch without too many embellishments that may catch on your partner's clothing. Most importantly, wear the clothes that your “character” would want to wear – this is the time for your inner sex-bomb goddess to come out and shine.
Use a prop
Props make the perfect extra something to hold onto – after all, you're probably going to feel a little exposed up there. Why not go burlesque-style and bring a feather boa into the game? Few accessories are more associated with the tease. You can drape it around your neck, run it between your legs, use it to hide various body parts or toss it onto the floor only to suggestively flash your peachy assets as you bend over to retrieve it. Wrapping the boa seductively around your partner is a sly way to touch without the physical contact – you'll drive him wild.
Creating some distance between you and your partner can make things even hotter – look-but-don't-touch vibes. While you're doing your thing up there, eye contact can be killer. With a simple flash of the eyes, you can control the mood and crank up the desire on your every whim.
It's extremely sexy to slide a part of your body against your partner's, put all of your body weight onto your hands to squeeze his inner thighs with desire, or run your hands all over your body as if you're the best feeling person on Earth. How is he not going to want to get his hands all over the goods when you look so hot to touch?
If you start feeling awkward in the middle, remind yourself that, rather than judging you, your partner is probably just really fucking excited. And remember, it doesn't have to feel too serious – it's fine to have fun and giggle at any moment. If you tell yourself you're playing with your partner, not performing for him, you'll already start to feel way more natural and confident in control. Come on girl, you got this!
For more advice on feeling sexy, here's how to boost your sexual confidence.