This Clever App Proves You're Not To Blame For Your Insanity
Read your hormone horoscope.
You've woken up in a stinking mood – and it's not just because it's Monday morning. You didn't sleep at all well last night, you've got a headache and frankly, you feel like utter shit. You head to the bathroom and the mirror cruelly confirms your feels: “I look like a sad version of the poop emoji.” Later on, you find yourself having the same argument you had with your boyfriend almost exactly a month ago, and probably exactly a month before that. He's only liked another girl's picture, but he might as well have put his penis inside her – which is funny really, as just a few days ago you were totally game for a threesome. Are you going insane? No, you've probably just got PMS.
Enter Hormone Horoscope. Rather than using astrology to predict your day, this clever app shows you just how much hormones can impact on almost every aspect of your life, including your moods, energy, romantic feelings, spending habits, sleep quality, food cravings and even your health. For example, in week one of your cycle, as your estrogen levels rise, you may feel the urge to socialize more or be more adventurous; in week two, when testosterone kicks in, you'll probably feel sexier and have an increased libido; in week three, when progesterone increases, you may feel lethargy and cravings for comfort foods; and in week four, when estrogen nosedives, you're more likely to feel the typical PMS symptoms of insomnia, emotional sensitivity and physical symptoms like headaches.
The app allows you to track your monthly cycle, create a “hormone diary” and read up on what your day might be like according to the science. The best thing about it? Rather than feeling like you're a slave to your hormones, it gives you the upper hand so that you can plan your life better. “You can kick-ass on a job interview because you picked the right day,” founder Gabrielle Lichterman tells Broadly. “The real slave is the person who doesn't know why they need to spend $100 on a top...as opposed to the woman who says, 'This is plunging estrogen that is causing a dip in serotonin that makes me want to splurge.'"
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