Freshers guide backtoschool 2016

Fresher’s Week Survival Guide – 14 Top Tips!

POSTED BY ESTHER MARK

Ahhh Fresher’s Week, the time where hordes of teenage dirt bags leave their families in the hopes of freedom with their best ‘looking in to the distance’ faces. Now, we know you’re excited but here are some things to keep in mind during the week and for first year in general.

1. MISSING HOME

If you’re in halls or accommodation, it’s okay to cry yourself to sleep the first night because being away from home can be tough. Next morning just make sure you avoid red puffy eyes, it’s too early to be known as the druggy housemate. Make sure you call home too, your parents/guardians are likely worried so let them know you’re fine and haven’t ditched your degree to join a cult or the circus.

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2. It will seem like everyone has found bae when you can’t even find your lecture theatre.

3. SIGNING UP BUT NOT TURNING UP

Try and leave time to go to the Fresher’s fair whether you’re living on campus or commuting from home. If you’re commuting this can be a great chance to meet new people, look around the campus and find out what’s going on. Be prepared, you will never fake smile so much in your life for freebies from all the societies and sports teams. You WILL join the Polish society for a free sample of Pierogi, you WILL collect all the flavours of packet noodles and you WILL probably never go to 90% of the stuff you signed up for. Do NOT be ashamed, this is basically networking and you are learning the art of being an adult. As for the stuff you do go to, put in actual effort because employers love to see things like that on your CV right between your final grade and your 18 years of work experience of being a young person.

4. No matter what happens, if you send an email about it you will be okay.

5. *Simon inbetweeners voice* “OOH FRIEND”

The excitement when you meet your first “friend” is real but you’ll probably never see them again. This is a good thing because you will forget their name or even worse, never have even asked in the first place. This way you won’t have to avoid them or awkwardly try to introduce them to another friend. Here is a bank of name replacements you will get very familiar with: Love, lovely, lovey (any variation of love will do), this one, this beautiful human, you!, mate, lad, chap, one right here, misuse of male and female genitalia, bitch, biatch, homie, bro, bruh, fam, man like, giirrrlll, friend, Katie, Tom (there is always a Katie and Tom), just waving, distant head nod and you get the point. LEARN NAMES !!! or Facebook stalk through mutual friends until you find their picture.

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6. YOU CAN’T LIVE WITH US !!

Speaking of friends, the people you live with do not have to be your lifelong friends and you don’t need to move in with them next year. Some of them will turn out to be pure evil, food thieves, the experimental vegan, future leader of the conservative party and just plain annoying whilst others will be your kindred spirits. It’s fine to go out with these people in the beginning because we all want to feel like part of a group but if you don’t like them, run the first chance you get. There are so many different types of people so if you don’t enjoy drinking and would rather stay in playing monopoly do not fear you will make friends.

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7. Don’t spend $10,000 a year on sleep.

8. FRESHER’S WEEK BLUES

After Fresher’s Week is over you will actually have to do work. Uni is not an American teen drama and there are no hot lectures you can seduce so read your books, take your notes and the persons next to you, sign up to grade saver and yes, spark notes is still very relevant. Also turn up to your lectures and seminars preferably not in pyjamas. Now I know it’s unfair that you have to do all these things when you were promised freedom but that kid that always got amazing grades without doing anything studies like a beast in private. Besides university costs are rising so make the best of it. If you still feel aggrieved write an email about it.

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9. You will wear fancy dress like never before.

10. BILLS BILLS BILLS

You will be broke by the end of the first term and your new found readiness to prostitute yourself (not literally please) for free food and drink will surprise you. To avoid this happening, make a budget detailing how much you’ve got coming in and how much you’re spending. Take advantage of student discounts, free events, don’t lend people large sums of money and consider getting a part time job. If all fails departments and post grads are always paying for people to experiment on.

11. If you have a crazy housemate make campus security your besties.

12. LIVING OFF OF RATIONS

Arm yourself with laxatives. For two reasons. First of all if you can’t cook, your body may seem to form resistance to new food combinations and take aways every night but this is not so. My advice is to eat with other people, there’s always a bad ass cook in the midst. Secondly, people will unabashedly steal your food. They will not just take from what you have opened but they will open your packets for you like they’re doing you a favour and won’t even zip lock the bag!! To avoid any repeats I have heard of people garnishing their food with unconventional “flavours”. Nuff said. (This is a joke please do not poison any one, send a strongly worded email about it)

13. Register with the health centre, you may get fresher’s flu so bad you’ll think you got bronchitis. AIN’T. NOBODY. GOT. TIME. FOR. THAT.

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14. THE ONE WHERE IT’S ALL OVER

And when it’s all over and you’re cringing about all your photos and memories, hopefully you’ve become a more independent, free thinking and resilient person wishing you could relive it all again. But you can’t because you’re in second year and your grades actually count. *Michael Jordan crying face meme*.

Slider Image: Lizzy Poole

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